A frustrated student has stormed out of his Brisbane sharehouse after finally getting fed up with his extroverted housemates.
Peter, who studies Accounting at Griffith University, is gearing up for mid-year exams, but found it impossible to study one Sunday afternoon.
”I had it all sorted out: I was going to lock myself in my room, listen to my weekly rotation of rugby league, cricket, accounting, and celebrity interview podcasts, and spend the day studying. Of course my three d***head housemates had to all be home!” said Peter.
It started with his housemates (all Bachelor of Arts students at Griffith) opening Spotify on the big TV and blaring a mix of metal, rap, rock, and pop. That was followed by them opening TikTok on their individual phones, which were all played loudly to compete with the music and other TikToks. That’s when Peter started getting mad.
”I’ve told these wankers a zillion times: if you want to listen to TikTok, then USE F*****G HEADPHONES! I can live with the music, but I find it impossible to concentrate with bloody TikTok videos! It’s not too much to ask?”
But the final straw came when one of the housemates Facetimed his girlfriend to show her all the videos.
“Breennaa is an absolute cow! She’s too loud, rude, a massive bogan, and laughs like a motherf*****g hyena! Seriously, laughing like that isn’t natural!”
Storming out of his bedroom, Peter proceeded to give his housemates an absolute baking before walking to the Griffith Nathan campus.
Setting up in quiet library, Peter finally got some study done and had time to think about his outburst.
”It was a good thing. I only agreed to move in earlier this year because I could have my own room and the other three guys spent all their time getting pissed. Which is fine when you’re doing a Arts degree, but I’m actually studying something important, so I need to put my head down and work. Apparently I wasn’t missed as Breennaa already started moving her stuff in on Sunday night and filling my old room with her crap.”
Peter will temporarily live at his uncle and aunt’s place in Morningside and is trying to find a new sharehouse before the start of the second semester.
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
