It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the first weekend of rugby league for 2022 that was with the NRL 2022 Round 7 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL 2022 Round 7 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
SHARKS FANS UNDECIDED AFTER THURSDAY WHICH NICKNAME SHOULD BE GIVEN TO SIOSIFA TALAKAI
Sharks centre Siosifa Talakai has been a revelation and sensation at the same time this season, and he produced one of the finest halves of destructive running rugby league ever seen. That is on top of a super performance against Melbourne the weekend before, and most of the season if we’re honest.
So surely the manner of the performances and his wrecking ball likeliness deserve an action packed nickname.
So The Wooden Spooners have decided to start a poll on what it should be.
Pardon our ignorance if he already has one, or that he doesn’t really need one. We have compiled the top five suggestions and the results so far are below,
BRONCOS’ BUCK UNDER VET HOSPITAL OBSERVATION AFTER SERIOUS SECOND HALF WORKOUT FROM BRONCIS ON FRIDAY NIGHT
Note: Above picture is not Buck, and Buck was never actually on fire on Friday night.
The Broncos ran out convincing winners in the end on Friday night over the Bulldogs, but it didn’t look that way as the Bulldogs were the better side for at least the first 50 minutes.
But the Adam Reynolds inspired last half an hour surprised many die hard Broncos fan, not least was the horse Buck who runs around Lang Park when the Broncos score.
Out of shape thanks to Covid, an underperforming Broncos side for the past two seasons, and a rumoured stint in rehab for recreational drugs, Buck the Bronco really struggled on Friday as the points were piled on late in the match.
Concerned jockey and club official played it very safe with the fan favourite, and summoned a local vet they knew was at the ground to take a look after the match.
The Wooden Spooners can confirm he spent the night in his favourite paddock in a leafy Brisbane suburb and was given a few extra carrots.
In unrelated news, the Gold Coast titans have enquired about the availability of Buck to play in the Centres replacing David Fifita.
#BestHeForgets – ANZAC DAY SILENCE TAKEN VERY SERIOSULY IN BRISBANE
In another “proud” moment for rugby league, the Saturday evening news in Brisbane led off with a pre match scuffle after an alleged twit shouted and dropped a few “specials” during the minute’s silence.
The local soak who can’t be named as we don’t know who they are was treated to some street justice by a nearby Bulldogs fan, was also booed and told to piss off by Broncos fans as well, in case this is insinuated as Bulldog fan bashing.
The Wooden Spooners spoke to some nearby fans on the night.
“The guy dropped the c bomb a few times and got exactly what he deserved” says a man two rows away.
“While I was impressed at the bloke’s priority to not spill his delicious cup of piss, I mean XXXX Gold, he was an absolute jerk who got what he deserved” said an older gent sitting four seats away.
“I was super impressed with the guy wearing a Broncos jersey over the top of his business attire telling the drunk guy to get out. It was a hot look. And says that we’re back to pre Covid days” said a single lady with a glint in her eye.
“Neeeeiggggggggggh” offered Buck the horse.
“I uploaded my video of the incident to my Insta account with the hashtag #BestHeForgets as a sort of play on words for Lest We Forget, but it didn’t take off” remarked a budding local comedian who sat in the row behind the gent.
BOB KATTER MAN OF THE PEOPLE
Say what you like about Bob Katter and some of his crazy views, and hatred of crocodiles, but you can’t deny people love the man in the big hat.
It was a good night for the Member for Kennedy, as the Cowboys put in one of their performances of the season and are in the top four.
MICHAEL MAGUIRE THANKS FOX LEAGUE AND FRIENDS FOR SECOND WIN
Wests Tigers coach Michael Maguire thanked media outlets for their continual hate campaign of the Wests Tigers in 2022, as it has ensure the playing group has become tighter, and they are now winning games.
An assistant coach, who wanted to remain anonymous for the sake of his job gave us an exclusive insight “we’re just waiting for Fox League to ask us to be involved in one of those drawn Matt Nable flog-fests and are gonna tell them to stick it up their arse.”
As for Shane Flanagan there’s now a massive change to his Coach-O-Meter rating now the Tigers are going well, and his mates at Fox League can’t undermine the Tigers coach for Flanagan’s benefit for at least another month.
LOCAL GOLD COAST SPORTS HISTORIAN CLAIMS DAIKYO DOLPHINS STILL THE BEST GOLD COAST SPORTING TEAM OF ALL TIME
The fallout of the Gold Coast Titans terrible loss to the Cowboys and underwhelming 2022 campaign so far continues as one local goes to town on the Titans.
Rex Lively (fake name) has lived on the Gold Coast since 1978 and has seen all the Gold Coast’s attempts to field sporting teams come and go. Despite the Titans beign quite professional, it’s not enough for Rex.
“The Gold Coast Titans are certainly the most professional effort the Gold Coast has produced, just ahead of the Suns, but neither are winners are they?”
“Titans is the fourth attempt to have a league team, and this one is the best, but they only have a few top fours to show for it. Which I guess is more than the Suns.”
“As far as my records go, the only team to win a national competition based on the Gold Coast was Daikyo Dolphins baseball team back in the day”.
When pressed on what the bloody hell were the Daikyo Dolphins, he simply pointed us back to our own website which provided one of the better non Wikipedia explanations.
“Looks like neither NRL or AFL will win this season either. I guess the best bet to put on would be which one will still be around in 10 years.”
NEWCASTLE KNIGHTS FAN ASKS IF THERE’S A COOLING OFF PERIOD FOR KALYN PONGA
After dominating the previous week’s news with rumours of a Damir Dokic type set up, Kalyn Ponga committed his future to the Newcastle Knights in the past few days.
But several Newcastle Knights fans who are regular readers of this website cheekily asked if there was a cooling off period for the latest contract after Newcastle were thrashed by Parramatta at home.
Ponga is currently challenging David Fifita as the biggest high-price rip-off in the NRL.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan returning to the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for. Or anyone who may be competition or ahead of his son Kyle Flanagan.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headlines, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
With the Tigers winning two in a row, and other teams down on their luck improving the options are drying up for now.
Good.
