It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the first weekend of rugby league for 2022 that was with the NRL 2022 Round 6 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL 2022 Round 6 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
RICKY STUART THREATENS TO GET FADES HAIRCUT AS RAIDERS PLAYERS TRY TO OVERTURN FADERS NICKNAME
Artists Impression
Canberra Raiders once again let a half time lead go to waste, and this has led to the tough but fair nickname of the Faders being applied to them.
Ricky Stuart, one of the game’s greatest thinkers, has reportedly discussed embracing the name into a kind of motivation.
The Canberra coach had told players he will get a fades style haircut if they lead at half time in the next three games and hold on to win.
He has allegedly informed the team, that whoever scores the winning try for that game can do the haircut themselves at the next training session.
HARD TO DENY REFS HATE SHIT TEAMS AFTER ROUND 6
As ever the rugby league weekend threw up a number of bad ref calls or key 50-50s, and in all cases they went with the team higher on the ladder.
Whether it’s the teams’ fault for being at the bottom of the ladder, it’s hard to deny that the refs certainly don’t make life easy. The Bulldogs were right in the game until the sin bin as an example.
Rugby league fan and Prime Minister Scott Morrison chimed in with “if the lower teams want to win more games through more penalties, they just have to be higher up the ladder.”
OUT OF WORK WILL SMITH OFFERS TO FLY TO AUSTRALIA TO TEACH NRL PLAYERS HOW TO SLAP
Aside from another rugby league lesson being handed out by Penrith on Friday night, there was also a few slaps and sin bins handed out to Keenan Palasia and Dylan Edwards.
Former big name actor and face slapping connoisseur Will Smith was reportedly “highly disappointed” at the lack of conviction in either player’s attempt.
Insiders and sources say he was willing to fly to Australia to help sort it out.
Forward thinking club Melbourne Storm are considering whether there is a part time adviser position in it.
KALYN PONGA SEEN BUYING BEE GEES CDs AND SLIPPERS AHEAD OF POTENTIAL DOLPHINS MOVE ANNOUNCEMENT
Big news for the Newcastle Knights this weekend was the story of the Newcastle pulling an offer to Kalyn Ponga and the subsequent rumours swirling about a move to the Dolphins.
The Wooden Spooners have it on good authority that a man that looked a lot like Kalyn Ponga was spotted at Westfields Kotara with a handful of Bee Gees CDs and a few pair of slippers. Things quickly associated with Redcliffe and the Dolphins rugby league team.
We’re pretty sure we’ve used this joke before, or at least some of it with our not-so-subtle dig at Redcliffe Dolphins becoming a Retirement Home among other things.
HAVING A PARENT RUN YOUR SPORTING AFFAIRS IS ONLY A GOOD THING SAYS DAMIR DOKIC ACTOR
Following on from the big Dolphins-Ponga news, we approached a man who played Damir Dokic in a bio pic a decade or so ago to discuss parents involvement in their children’s sport.
“Having done my research for the role, I’m sure Damir Dokic would be all for Kalyn Ponga’s old man being involved in contract talks for his son’s big next contract.”
“Damir would have been all over that, and all over the club with demands to ensure that his child was best set up for the future. Even against the better interests of child themselves.”
“Who knows the best outcomes for a child’s future more than a slightly unhinged parent with a ferocious temper.”
We also approached a man in the park who sounded like Bernard Tomic’s dad for comment but he angrily told us to leave him and his family alone.
DRAGONS EXTEND ANTHONY GRIFFIN COACHING CONTRACT TO 2029 AFTER ONE WIN IN A ROW
After securing a late win against Newcastle on Sunday in a thrilling finish, if not the game, the St George Illawarra Dragons have gone berserk and signed a contract extension wit head coach Anthony Griffin until the end of the 2029 season.
Our club insider who prefers to remain anonymous tells us “The club were super excited to seal one win in a row, and that buzz went straight into a hastily convened board meeting at the ground to seal Griffin’s future before another club stole him.”
It was the Dragons’ second win in six games this season.
But it does follow their previous coaching retention strategy, as the club did extend Griffin’s coaching contract to the end of 2023 before a ball was kicked in 2022 after a stellar end to the 2021 season which saw the Dragons lose eight in a row.
In unrelated news under fire Tigers coach Michael Maguire sent Griffin a personal message which was a photo of his middle finger.
F*** YOU FOX LEAGUE SAYS MANY TIGERS AFTER THRILLING WIN OVER EELS
This website has often called the BS of Fox League’s relentless campaign on the Wests Tigers, so when they upset Parramatta on Easter Monday our inbox was full of people wishing to send their regards to Fox League.
Of course we highlight this in the below Shane Flanagan Coach-O-Meter, but also have highlighted this with WOODEN SPOONERS – Fox League’s Shock Decision.
Without being Tigers fans ourselves, it was a good end to Easter to see Michael Maguire enjoy a win, and Jackson Hastings nail that two point field goal for his Tigers team mates.
With so many emails to share we decided to highlight our favourites below.
“F— you Fox League” Tigers fan #1
“Write something bad about that Hooper you giant turd-burger” Tigers fan #33
“That should shut up that overrated former coach with his white ant coach sacking sh!t for a week” Tigers fan #46
“Tigers 1 Flanagans 0” Tigers #145
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan returning to the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for. Or anyone who may be competition or ahead of his son Kyle Flanagan.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headlines, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
With the Tigers win his coaching return cools for a little bit which is fine by us.
