A lapsed Christian has found a way to combat his yearly Easter guilt.
While Peter (23) spent 12 years in various Christian schools, he hasn’t been to Good Friday mass (or mass of any kind) since leaving school, instead focusing on going to uni, playing sport, and hanging out with mates.
Despite this, Peter always feels overwhelming pangs of guilt around Easter, especially when his parents are still avid church-goers.
While Peter has tried to quell the guilt with a traditional Good Friday viewing of The Passion of the Christ (after a hearty fish dinner), he’s become bored of Mel Gibson’s violence-fest and wants to try something new.
He’s planning to spend this Easter weekend re-watching Father Ted.
With 24 episodes and the hour-long Christmas special, Peter is planning to spread these out over the long weekend, inbetween watching every NRL game.
”That’s about 13 hours of Ted, so if I do about three hours or so each night from Thursday, then I’ll be done by Monday night,” said Peter. “If my mum asks me how I’m commemorating our Lord’s sacrifice this Easter, I’ll just say I’ve been watching a remote mass from Ireland on YouTube.”
While Peter realises his guilt could be solved by simply going to mass again, he really can’t be bothered. “Mate, I had 12 years of it as a kid! I went to church at least once every weekend and three times on Easter: Easter Thursday night, Good Friday afternoon, and Easter Sunday morning. I needed a break as I have a life now!”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
