Online audio streaming giant Spotify has made the huge announcement of some new music that they claim will be a game changer in the shape of a new Scott Morrison Ukulele Album.
Fresh from the fallout of Neil Young removing his music from Spotify, and James Blunt threatening to release new music in protest of the Joe Rogan podcast, Spotify have been on the sniff for something new to promote their brand. The new Scott Morrison Ukulele Album is perfectly timed.
Like most Australians, Spotify chiefs were uber impressed with the snippets of the Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison playing April Sun in Cuba for an upcoming 60 Minutes episode, so sought him out immediately to see if there’s more.
Chief Asia-Pacific Talent Management Executive Yebri Floss (fake name and job title) explains further.
“With some high profile names withdrawing their music we needed something fresh, new and clean. Plus we wanted to grow our base in the Asia-Pacific region. Who better than the head of one the most influential countries in the region with a ground breaking album.”
“Plus, with the Joe Rogan podcast doing so well for us, it certainly won’t hurt to have someone else in the Spotify family who knows next to nothing useful about Coronavirus.”
“We couldn’t be more excited for the New Scott Morrison Ukulele Album.”
New Scott Morrison Ukulele Album Track Listing
Chief Asia-Pacific Talent Management Executive Yebri Floss (fake name and job title) is so excited by the new musical gem for Spotify that they take us through the entire album.
“The first song on the album sells itself after the recent sizzle from the 60 Minutes promo. And what better song to lead off with than a song about a man leaving for a tropical paradise when they’re under pressure. And he couldn’t sound better in my opinion.”
But just to prove he is no one trick pony, the new Scott Morrison Ukulele Album has loads more to offer. Different genres, new twists on old classics, and some friends join him for the fun.
“Scott Morrison has been clever with some of the other tracks on the album too” explains Yebri Floss (fake name).
“Scomo has tried to cash in on the younger market with Livin’ on a Prayer after it has been so relentlessly shoved down people’s throats with the McDonalds ads this summer. And then he tries to take some recent controversies like the religious laws not passing and various leaked texts from various colleagues with Losing My Religion and Most People I Know.”
“So clever to own the controversy and turn it into musical gold. The ukulele solo towards the end of Losing My Religion would make Ian Moss take his cap off in Scomo’s direction.”
“The Wash My Hair song is a little creepy to be honest, but possibly not as creepy as a Prime Minister washing someone’s hair as a publicity stunt. So it could be worse. We did get him to remove Psycho Killer from the final cut.”
But unlike the reality in Australian Politics, it isn’t all Scomo. Some of the colleagues that aren’t calling him psycho and a liar, and some that are join in the fun on the new Scott Morrison Ukulele Album.
“Given the amount of time he spent at the cricket instead of trying to save people dying in Aged Care from Covid, Richard Colbeck’s Howzat was the perfect choice. As is Craig Kelly’s cover of the David Hasselhoff song. Both can devour a burger and deliver Freedom with aplomb. ”
Barnaby Joyce wasn’t even invited to the initial sessions, but he still arrived and laid down two tracks.
Impressing everyone with his deluxe Banjo skills, his version of Cotton Eye Joe is looking like a real B Side choice to April Sun in Cuba. I See Red was his up yours to everyone who says he has a red face, according to Rita, a part time admin worker in his New England Electoral Office.
Scomo invited his entire front bench for two songs on the album, one song Money for Nothing has been hinted as an attempt to gaslight the Australian Public of the grants his government gave to marginal electorates.
The Grease Megamix is a surprise, but Spotify’s Floss explains why it was included.
“Australians have had a long history of funny dress up musical numbers, look at the eternal success of Hey Hey It’s Saturday in the pre racist era, there were so many funny musical moments and Scomo being the funny suburban dad he is was just trying to channel The Music Man and those guys who did Winter Olympics with chairs.”
“Then Scomo finishes off in style with the Meatloaf’s big power ballad, which will sort of sum up the upcoming election campaign”.
But the worry for the rest of his party, like the Meatloaf song, you don’t know what the thing he won’t do for love is. It could get worse than that hair washing.
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