So the Novak Djokovic Australian Open dream is on after all, despite government chest beating saying it wouldn’t happen. Of course Scomo at first deflects the blame to who allowed, then that same day adds his own chest beating when he realises regular, voting Australians are pissed.
With the uproar that star tennis player and noted Covid jerk Novak Djokovic – aka NoVax Jerkovic – has been granted an exemption for the Australian Open, the tournament bosses have taken to extreme measures to keep him safe.
First of all, worrying about the World Number One’s safety, Jerkovic will be provided a Pope Mobile like vehicle for transport between his hotel and the Tennis Centre. It will also come accompanied with a full police guard to ensure NoVax’s safety.
Of course this will be at the insistence of the sports loving Prime Minister, but at the state’s expense.
Secondly, to ensure that booing Jerkovic will not be contagious, all others patrons of Crown Towers hotel will be asked to leave to ensure Jerkovic has complete privacy.
Most importantly, NoVax Jerkovic will not be required to play any competitive games of tennis until the tournament reaches the quarter final stage.
All these measures seem like the star tennis player is getting special treatment, but according to Australian Open Junior Scheduler and Executive Player Assistant Smedley Stevens that is not true.
“Given he’s a regular winner here, and the reigning champ, he’d probably get into the quarter finals anyway.”
“And we’ve taken a lot of sh!t here by letting him play. So to ensure the best possible business end of the tournament, and to slow the booing down in the early stages of the Australian Open, we just think it’s the best outcome for all if he gets a couple of byes.”
“Aside from the people that hate him in general, and the new anti NoVax crew who hate him because of this exemption, we reckon few would begrudge the champ an easy run.”
“I mean we could be creative and just work the draw to give him Bernard Tomic in the first round. That way he’d only need to play half a set.”
Despite the Tomic cheap shot, Stevens continues to open up about the Novak Djokovic Australian Open situation.
As for the proposed campaign of booing Jerkovic, our source is very much against it.
“It would be completely un-Australian to boo one of the finest athletes in the world, who is a major drawcard of why people are coming.”
“NoVax, I mean Novak, did not ask for special treatment from the fans. He just wanted special treatment to come into the country to play in a tournament where all the spectators have to be double vaxxed to attend, as an up yours to all the people sitting in the stands.”
“Should he therefore be subjected to boos? Just because he is basically sticking up two fingers to the rest of Australia”
We then pointed out Jerkovic general attitude towards Covid. Noting his Adria Tour which doubled as a super spreader event, footage of him in nightclubs at the height of Covid in 2020, and his toy throwing behaviour about the vaccines since.
Stevens retorted “Novax, I mean Novak, ….geez how could I do that again, has always taken Covid seriously. He took it so seriously that he applied for an exemption to play in this tournament because he knew he wasn’t vaccinated and wanted to ensure he kept the fans safe and entertained.”
“I think it was rather selfless to forgo a vaccination while the rest of the people in Australia are told to to turn up to this tournament. The man doesn’t like a jab, who does. He’s fighting the good fight.”
“As for your accusation of not taking Covid seriously with his tennis tournament, who could take Covid any more seriously than packing in a tennis stadium and then partying with fans and friends at the height of the first/second wave at nightclubs.”
So the 2022 Novak Djokovic Australian Open is still alive, and allowing him to play has pissed off the general public so much that the hatred that will be directed his way means it probably won’t be worth it.
