The big rugby league news this week was the announcement that the Redcliffe Dolphins had won the race to become the 17th NRL team in 2023; and while the Dolphins did deserve their success, spare a thought for the other bid teams – the Brisbane Bombers and the Brisbane Firehawks.
Both the Ipswich Jets-Brisbane Bombers and Easts Tigers-backed Firehawks bids lost out, and they both had plenty to offer.
All the fanfare has been with the Dolphins (and rightly so), but no one has told the other side of the story, until now.
The Wooden Spooners are here to tell at least one of those stories with an exclusive – with the now unwanted Brisbane Firehawk.
We go one on one with the mascot of the failed bid.
THE BRISBANE FIREHAWK INTERVIEW
WOODEN SPOONERS – First of all sorry for the news during the week, are you disappointed?
BRISBANE FIREHAWK – Of course, we were the superior bid. But it always felt like the NRL wanted the Dolphins.
WS – You’re not suggesting favouritism?
BF – No, I don’t think the NRL is competent enough to be dishonest.
WS – Before we go any further, we have to ask the question that most people ask. What is a Firehawk?
BF – A firehawk is a raptor that, according to lore, used fire to hunt and introduced fire to humans.
WS – Sounds like you just grabbed that from Wikipedia. Is that bird or not?
BF – Well obviously it is. Look at me.
WS – Hmmmm, fair enough. So what do you think was the main reason you lost out?
BF – I still can’t believe it. We had everything Redcliffe did and more.
WS – It wasn’t the fact that just about anyone who saw or read about the Firehawk had to ask what it is?
BF – Definitely not. A bird that uses fire, how can that lose out to Flipper and friends? I could at least accept if I lost to a Jet or Bomber. That shit is fearsome. A fluffy, playful Dolphin? Pffft.
WS – But at least people don’t have to ask what a Dolphin is…..
BF – Well, people can be idiots.
WS – Fair enough. But what do you think the Firehawks could have brought into the NRL that no other NRL bid team could?
BF – Well first of all, we had a unique look and mascot.
WS – Ok, so we’ve discussed the Firehawk already. What is a Firehawk again? I’ve already forgotten.
BF – It’s a bird that uses fire. Like an eagle. Big, mean, fearsome.
WS – Is it Australian?
BF – What?
WS – A Firehawk.
BF – Of course it is. Why would we want to launch a new NRL side with a non-Australian mascot?
WS – Well, the last team to enter the NRL with a vaguely Australian nickname was the Crushers. They went well.
BF – Yeah, but we wouldn’t have hired players like Mario Fenech in his twilight, Garrick Morgan from rugby union, or St John Ellis. Remember him?
WS – Just. So who did you have planned to bring in?
BF – First of all we would bring Cameron Munster home. He played for us before making it with the Storm full-time.
WS – Well, the beauty with that is your proposed jersey looked like the Melbourne Storm’s.
BF – I beg to differ: it is unique and powerful, with a hint to our history as the Easts Tigers.
WS – Nah, that blue/purple one really looks like a Melbourne jersey. Why didn’t you just call yourself the Tigers or the Brisbane Streak. Which is the name for a group of Tigers. Two teams with the same nickname works in the Intrust Super Cup with Wynnum and Tweed Heads both being Seagulls. They call it the ‘Flockbuster’. Pretty catchy name eh?
BF – Well as an Easts Tigers-aligned mascot I have to officially say I don’t care about Wynnum. But it is a great name for a clash.
WS – Maybe the Brisbane Streak or Stripes could have had a Brisbane rivalry and a Wests Tigers rivalry.
BF – Never going to happen, what is wrong with the Firehawk anyway?
WS – People don’t know what it is.
BF – Well I’ve explained it now.
WS – Do you think a mascot is good if it has to be explained?
BF – Do people know exactly what a Titan is? Or know the history behind being a Knight? You don’t think there are people who don’t wonder why Canberra are called the Raiders when the guy on the badge looks like a Viking?
WS – That may be true, but no one has to explain a Dolphin. Think of a seven year old, they knows dolphins, and possibly boats, but even if you explained a Firehawk they probably couldn’t still grasp it.
BF – Are you saying I would scare kids?
WS – No, just confuse. It may mean they wouldn’t beat you up at games I guess. But enough of the Firehawk thing. How about we discuss something else? Would the Firehawks have hired Wayne Bennett like the Dolphins appeared to have done?
BF – Probably. Although Kristian Woolf would have been a good mix with the Firehawks too. You know like the book? The Wolf and The Hawk.
WS – Sorry, we only read sport-related books and websites. Like Inverting the Pyramid by Jonathan Wilson. It’s a book about football tactics.
BF – Sounds pretty dull.
WS – Anyways. we’ve discussed Mascots, Colours, Coaches and Players. Given this is probably your last chance to defend your bid, as they’ll probably give an 18th team to New Zealand, Perth, or even Ipswich.
BF – Well, I think still think we had the best bid, but it’s just a shame that everyone has focused on the Firehawk.
WS – What’s a Firehawk again?
<End of Interview as the Brisbane Firehawk walks off>
