It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have cast their eye over the weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 19 Weekend Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 19 Weekend Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
BUZZ’S NEW TV SHOW
Artist’s Impression
Everyone’s favourite crank Buzz Rothfield has a new Fox League show, Buzzin’ with Buzz.
The hour-long panel show will air at the ‘extra special’ time of 3:17am on Tuesday mornings.
“The timeslot seems strange, but our market research has told us that the only people who watch late night/early morning TV are alcoholics, the unemployable, and angry loners, which is exactly Buzz’s target market,” said a faceless Fox League intern.
Buzzin’ with Buzz will feature Buzz sounding off loudly and angrily about various NRL issues, reminiscing about ‘the good old days’, and creepily ogling the hot young female field reporters who were contractually obligated to appear on the show because everybody else hates him.
MRS KOROISAU NOT “API” – GIVES FOUR WEEK BAN
Artist’s Impression
One of the big NRL Round 19 Headlines came before a ball had even been kicked, as rumours that Api Koroisau had ‘done a Jai Arrow’ and snuck a woman into Origin camp were confirmed.
The NRL’s action was swift, with a large fine and a two-week ban.
The Wooden Spooners also believe that Koroisau has been given a four-week ban from the main bedroom and will be on the lounge for the next four weeks and fined a year’s worth of flowers and romantic dinners.
THE QUEENSLAND ‘SUPER TEAM’ PROPOSAL
The Gold Coast Titans have rejected a merger offer from the Brisbane Broncos.
The new team would have be called the Brisbane-Gold Coast Broncos, with six home games at Lang Park and six at Robina.
Titans coach Justin Holbrook was adamant that his team could go it alone.
“The boys are in the fight for the eight, so we don’t need the Broncos’ help. None of them are good enough to make our team anyway.”
One Titans Twitter fan @IlovemyTits69 was more brutal in their assessment, “This is f*****g karma, ain’t it? The arrogant Bronx f****d over the poor old Crushers back in the day, now they’re begging for help! F*** those pricks!”
CHN’S LATEST DRAMA
Canberra’s Corey Harawira-Naera has landed himself in hot water with the NRL again, but it’s not for what you’d expect…
The Man of Feathers Peter V’landys has formally banned CHN from doing post-try celebrations after his shocking ‘twerking’ effort during Canberra’s win over Parramatta.
“We’ve had some cracking post-try celebrations these past few weeks,” said Feathers. “But Corey’s mess of a celebration was one step too far. The NRL can’t afford players to be embarrassing themselves like that. Tweaking died out with that Hannah Cyrus girl and it should stay dead!”
Raiders coach Ricky Stuart has supported the ban, saying it was the most embarrassing moment in Canberra’s history.
At least from someone sober.
BRISBANE 2032 OLYMPICS TO CONSIDER RUGBY LEAGUE
Great news for Brisbane, Queensland, and Australia during the week as the Sunshine State’s capital was announced as the 2032 Olympics host city.
Moving swiftly as he always does, the Man of Feathers announced he would be lobbying hard to get rugby league included as one of the new sports.
“Given that Sportclimbing, Skateboarding and Surfing were introduced at the 2032 Olympics, surely there’s a spot for a real game,” V’landys said to the assembled press.
The Queensland Government are believed to be very interested in the proposal.
Especially Maroon mask-wearing deputy premier Steven Miles, who in true ALP form had to reconsider his leadership challenge to time it with the 2032 Olympics.
Origin great Dale Shearer immediately announced he would be available to represent Australia at the 2032 Olympics.
Read more: Left Field 2032 Brisbane Olympics Locations.
GURGLERBET NRL SPECIALS
The Wooden Spooners / Gurgler’s official betting partner GurglerBet has opened up some new betting markets based on the NRL.
Along with their 50 cent betting limit, GurglerBet are famous for offering betting markets that other, real betting agencis simply won’t.
Check out the latest GurglerBet NRL Specials below.
