It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have cast their eye over the weekend of rugby league that was with the State of Origin Two Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, this week’s headlines gives the extra insight in the big week in the NRL and State of Origin clash that only the Wooden Spooners can provide.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
NSW REQUEST THIRD GAME IN QLD AFTER CURRENTLY PANTSING MAROONS ON HOME TURF
What was originally seen as an unfair advantage to the Maroons has turned out pretty good for the NSW Blues, who are currently leading the two-game series by two wins to nil and a combined 76 points to six.
With the lockdown unlikely to allow fans into Game Three, and given the current run of success, the NSW Blues are believed to have requested the third game be played anywhere in Queensland. As long as there is a Queensland crowd to play in front of.
Reports the NSW Blues are ordering large bags of salt for post-try celebrations are unconfirmed.
QLD PLAYERS REQUEST LOCKDOWN TO AVOID THIRD HUMILIATION
In unconfirmed reports, Daly Cherry-Evans – on behalf of the Queensland Maroons – has written to the Queensland Premier and Chief Health Officer Jeannette Young to request a lockdown for the entire State of Origin team until after Game Three.
When pressed, the Queensland skipper allegedly remarked that they have no idea how they are going to score points in Game Three, and so being confined to a hotel would be a better option.
QRL SACK LIONEL HUTZ AS LAWYER AFTER RONALDO MULITALO INELIGIBILITY AFFAIR
The QRL have sacked their lawyer Lionel Hutz following the eligibility issues with Queensland’s replacement winger Ronaldo Mulitalo.
With the rules of eligibility reasonably static and clear before the series kicked off, Hutz simply failed to look at the fine print, distracted by his side job as a shoe repairer.
Artist’s impression.
Hutz, who was seen in court not wearing any pants and being unaware until told by the judge, was unconvincing in his arguments for allowing Mulitalo to play.
He was unable to be located today for comment, with his voicemail being forwarded to a Miguel Sanchez.
The process does show the dedication to the cause of the NSW Blues. Like last-ditch tackles when up by 100 points, the Blues ensured no stone was unturned with the game day protest of Mulitalo’s eligibility.
NRL FANS AVOID THE DARK SIDE
To the absolute relief of The Man of Feathers (Peter V’landys), NRL fans have navigated the bye weekend without incident.
With only one lead-up game (Women’s Origin), Feathers was terrified that bored footy fans would start watching the Super W women’s rugby union, the A-League Grand Final or the aerial ping pong games.
A Twitter survey by Wooden Spooners showed that most NRL fans took the time to socialise with family, catch up on housework, go to the movies (various restrictions permitting), or binge watch TV shows.
One participant – @Raiders899094 – commented that he got hooked on the new Kate Winslet crime drama Mare of Easttown.
“The misso had been bugging me to watch it, so we sat down on Friday night and smashed through it in 24 hours. It’s pretty bleak at times, but that double twist at the end is amazing! I didn’t see it coming,” said @Raiders899094. “You wouldn’t catch me dead watching aerial ping ping anyway! Bunch of sheilas in singlets who are too scared to tackle so they kick the bloody ball away! Rugby is for private schoolboys ponces and soccer is for wogs. I’m fanging for the real footy to come back now!”
QLD FANS SHOW SYMPATHY TOWARDS ORIGIN SKIPPER BY 70% WANTING HIM DROPPED AS CAPTAIN
Daly Cherry-Evans has been a polarising figure for many in Queensland, with opinions ranging about the halfback’s role as state leader (no not that leader but he did seem to order an attacking lockdown of the maroons this series).
But cut to the scenes of a visibly upset DCE after the game, you’d think he’d receive waves of support for his passion.
But no. According to this news.com.au poll – 27% want him sacked as skipper with a further 42% wanting him relived of captaincy and kicked out of the side.
Harsh but fair according to a local publican who said beer sales have been down 13% since DCE took over as captain. The local publican who did not wish to be named said he would rather a Cameron Munster type leader who punters at his establishment could relate to more.
TEAMS WEARING MAROON FAIL TO SCORE POINTS AT SUNCORP FOR OVER THREE HOURS
If you combine the Broncos and Maroons for games at Suncorp they have now not scored a point for two entire games plus 24 minutes – which is a tick over three hours.
To put that into perspective you can watch the entire The Good, Bad and the Ugly original movie with a snack break in-between. Two of the three names of that movie title a relevant comparison to use for the current state of Brisbane/Queensland rugby league.
Also in perspective, there have been 67 cases of Coronavirus since the Broncos/Queensland last scored at Suncorp Stadium.
Suncorp Stadium are considering offering a special ticket where punters can bet on the outcome in advance, debiting $1 per point scored for fans who take up the offer. This provides excitement and excellent value to an otherwise dreary game of football at Suncorp.
QUEENSLAND FANS TURN TO LIVE NSW BASED BETS FOR SECOND HALF OF ORIGIN II CLASH
With Queensland scoreless l at half time and looking even less likely to score than Game One, Sportsbet reported a spike in live betting coming out of Queensland at the half-time break.
The most popular bets were Queensland to score no points in the second half; NSW to win the second half; over 1.5 fights to break out in the second half; and Cameron Munster to kick someone anytime.
Some were disappointed that a knee during the game was not counted as a kick according to Sportsbet.
THREE SURPRISES…..
SURPRISE AS HANDFUL OF COVID CASES BAD – 50K FANS FOR ORIGIN GOOD
Queensland recorded more Coronavirus cases on the Sunday of the State of Origin with a number slightly higher than the amount of points scored.
Come the Monday and the state is thrown into the restrictions and mandates for mask wearing, with no doubt another lockdown coming soon.
Thankfully, after an exclusive interview with both the Alpha and Delta variants of COVID-19 on Sunday, The Gurgler was told by both variants that they had no interest in State of Origin at all and would not be attending the game.
In fact both Alpha and Delta said they much preferred to be at home watching Forrest Gump on Channel Seven. That’s after they were exhausted after attending coffee shops, gyms, Woolies, and Macca’s earlier in the day.
Stay tuned next week for the Alpha and Delta variants’ tips for Euro 2020.
SURPRISE AS HULKING QLD BACK ROWER IS NOT REALLY A CENTRE
Two games into the State of Origin series and there has been mild surprise that having a big, slightly immobile back rower as a starting centre didn’t quite work out for Queensland.
The player in question was Kurt Capewell, who been nicknamed “Captain Plod” on some Queensland fan-based social media. Probably quite unfairly.
Capewell is a great NRL players, but to have him up against one of the NRL’s biggest talents was never really a good idea. He never quite got on top of Tommy Turbo in defence and offered honesty but minimal metres in attack.
Although he has scored his team’s only try in two games. And was probably Queensland’s best player on the night. Which sums up the performance.
SURPRISE AS NEWS LTD REPORT SAYS SECOND BRISBANE SIDE NOT A GREAT IDEA
Was there any great surprise to see an article from a News Ltd media outlet suggesting that the second Brisbane team could affect local clubs and may be not quite a great idea?
Not forgetting that the Broncos are owned in part by News Ltd.
It was this partnership that effectively killed off the Crushers back in the 90s, and it appears they are up to their old tricks again.
No matter what Brisbane rugby league fans want, News Ltd say a second team is bad (and Uncle Rupert always gets his way).
We guess that the Broncos having objections were to do with financial and sponsorship reasons, but we also have it on good authority that the Broncos’ current form is so poor that they feel threatened by someone else taking more Queensland Cup players which are currently making up most of the side.
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