Just in case you’re thinking that the world is turning around to good times with Covid vaccines rolling out swiftly (in some countries), crowds returning to sporting events around the world and Friends reunions, we offer up our May 2021 Jerk of the Month nominations for balance. And the Friends reunion.
Hard to believe another month has past, not hard to believe that this edition of Jerk of the Month is full of a new parade of twits, boofheads, inconsiderate arseholes, and Donald Trump.
Who is the month’s biggest jerk is ultimately up to you, the reader of this website. Yes all five of you. Thanks Alec. So vote now, vote early and vote often. For as many of the candidates who take or tickle your fancy. One wonders how you tickle a fancy. Sounds filthy.
For now read the form guide and list of nominations for May 2021 Jerk of the Month, and get ready to vote early and vote often.
VOTE NOW – May 2021 Jerk of the Month
Time to put your official vote in for Jerk of the Month for May 2021.
Feel free to vote for as many of these jerks as you like. They have asked for it, nay demanded it.
And vote multiple times on multiple devices. It looks good for our website numbers too.
ANTI VACCINE / ANTI LOCKDOWN PROTESTORS
Protesting nincompoops
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Picture some moments in history.
Masses of people protesting the Vietnam War in the 60’s and 70’s.
Over 250,000 civil rights supporters in front of the Lincoln Memorial there for the Civil Rights Movement in the US and to listen to MArtin Luther King Jnr’s famous speech.
Women marching for the right to vote.
Many, many countries where citizens took the life into their own hands to protest an unfair and often cruel government/dictatorship.
So many people doing something for worthy causes.
Then picture a bunch of halfwits protesting about a vaccine that no one is making them take.
Or a situation when they have to stay and watch any number of entertainment option or troll the internet with another helping of their anti-everything tripe.
And something bout 5G probably thrown in there too.
We’re not talking one of histories greatest struggles are we? Not even in the top 10,000 of the past year.
With Facebook not being quite enough to herald their stupidity views, they break out into public, clash with Police, and thankfully a few are arrested.
Perhaps after blowing off some steam until their phone batteries recording their own stupidity dies, and they have fake breathed over nearby people, they’ll all go home and eat a large serving of Anti-pesto.
They certainly are what they eat then.
HARRY & MEGHAN aka former Duke and Duchess of Somewhere
Former Royals
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
That’s enough now.
Stop moaning about how bad your life is, and how bad your mother’s life thanks to the press then continue to whore yourself so as many media options as possible.
In general we find Royal Family stuff tediously over-broadcast in mainstream media, but this Harry and Meghan stuff is the definition of Meh.
Bring us a tenpin bowling monarch like John Goodman’s King Ralph and we’re all ears.
MICHAEL SLATER
Ex Cricketer, Current Jerk.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Michael Slater makes a very nice living from talking about cricket. Not washing plates, cleaning hotel quarantine rooms, stacking bricks or driving an Uber. That we know of.
He earns loads of money from talking about a sport he thinks he was really, really good at.
So when the Indian Premier League restarted for 2021, despite the fact it was obvious in general that going overseas was not a great idea let alone India which had a Covid spike looming, “Slats” went over to talk about cricket.
Unsurprisingly the competition was abandoned after Covid decided that cricketers were as fair game as the millions on the streets.
So when the Australian Government suspended flights from India, Michael Slats got on the socials to blame Scomo and say he had blood on his hands. He invited the PM to see the dead on the streets in India.
Without any care for the hypocracy of leaving India as soon as possible, Slats was sent to two weeks of hard labour in the Maldives where he was allegedly involved in a punch up with a former Jerk of the Year winner David Warner.
So why wasn’t Mr Covid Cares 3000 on the streets of India using his considerable fame and new found care of the Indian people to lend a hand to get the pandemic under control? Just like he challenged Scomo to do?
Because Slater cares only for Slater. Haven’t you heard his commentary. (Not us for years).
Every chance he gets he lets the audience know about his who-gives-a-stuff moment from the couldn’t-care-less-test where he was the who-gives-a-f***.
This IPL-Covid moment just reminds you of how big a jerk he is. To take the moral high ground while escaping India as soon as possible demands yet another monthly nomination.
JARRYD HAYNE & FRIENDS
Former rugby league players, current fruit connoisseur
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
You might remember Jarryd Hayne.
For a while there he was rugby league’s biggest story on the field and off the field as he chased his NFL dream.
Fast forward a while and Hayne has found himself in jail for chasing something else.
While a court has given Hayne the punishment he deserves, his act and behaviour regarding it all is still worthy of a JOM nomination.
But not just him, and under the same umbrella is the people outside the court who allegedly abused the victim.
And his mates Kristan Inu and Tony Williams for their social media defence of the star on his way to jail. At least Williams’ outburst cost him a new playing gig.
Hopefully with recent verdict on NRL stars and rape, people will realise that all NRL players aren’t animals and some jerks are guilty and others are proven not guilty.
SCOMO
Current PM
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
For smirking his way through the shit rollout of the vaccine, setting no targets and blaming the state governments when available.
Taking credit for sorting out Covid while actually doing very little to solve the problem.
CRAIG KELLY
Former LNP politician
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
For his trillion dollar stunt of the budget.
And trying to stop people earning more super.
And every thing else.
DONALD TRUMP
Former President
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
For still claiming he won the election, and running the Republican party from Florida.
Some are praying the arrest comes before he can run for president again.
Those who are able to hold a bible the right way up of course.
DAVID HINES – COVID RORTER
Covid Jerk
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Talking of Florida how about this guy who allegedly took millions of Covid aid and bought himself a fancy new car.
What a jerk.
Jayne Hrdlicka – Virgin Australia Boss
CEO of Airline
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Covid has sucked in so many ways. Refer to our first Jerk of the Month nomination for a major one. And of course things like tourism and airlines have suffered terribly.
But even bigger than people moaning about a needle is that Coronavirus has killed millions of people.
So when Virgin Australia boss declared that Australia should open up even if people die, it was met with some surprise.
Sure Australia should perhaps open up a little, perhaps when the vaccine rollout is taken more seriously than an Australian bushfire from Hawaii by the current PM, but to callously declare that it’s too bad that people will die got the boos it deserved.
And a JOM nomination along with it.
CANTERBURY BULLDOGS
Under-performing NRL team
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
It’s bad enough when you aren’t having a good run to front up to press conferences, but imagine being sent out to talk to the press having recently been made a scapegoat for the previous weekend’s loss. As in, dumped from the squad for the weekend ahead.
That’s what the Bulldogs did to Kyle Flanagan the week after the Bulldogs were soundly beaten.
The poor bugger held it together for long enough, long enough for the Bulldogs to get a JOM nomination.
