WOODEN SPOONERS | Sliding Doors 2: Slide Harder

“Rationalisation” became the rugby league buzzword of the late 90s, as the Super League War finally ended (though the scars would linger on for decades…) and the reunited NRL sought to trim the 22,000,000 teams across both competitions.

The tortured Die Hard reference in Sliding Doors 2: Slide Harder is appropriate, as we examine the clubs that didn’t make it after the game reunited, and speculate what would happen if they survived.

We’re not including South Sydney, as we touched on them in the first Sliding Doors, the Gold Coast (they returned as the Titans), or still-existing joint ventures like the Wests Tigers and St George Illawarra Dragons.

Adelaide Rams (1997-1998)

While the Rams survive past 1998, they fail to take advantage of it: though they avoid the dreaded wooden spoon (despite a few close calls), they never make the finals, and gain a reputation for mediocre mid-table finishes. They also struggle to breach the AFL’s stranglehold on South Australia, averaging 7,000 at home games, and only beat arch-rivals the Melbourne Storm twice. With the Gold Coast Titans entering the NRL in 2007, the Rams are cut, with their best players joining the Titans and the rest going to other NRL clubs or the UK Super League.

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Hunter Mariners (1997)

Surviving past Super League, the Mariners aim to establish a rivalry for the ages against the Newcastle Knights. While the Mariners pinch a few derbies, the Knights’ on-and off-field powers wear them down. After two wooden spoons and only making one finals series (squeezing into eighth and losing the elimination final), the Mariners accept a merger with the Knights in order to survive, becoming the Newcastle-Hunter Knights, though it’s more of a Knights takeover than an even partnership.

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North Sydney Bears (1908-1999)

After rejecting a proposed merger with Manly Warringah, the Bears are offered a dumptruck full of money to relocate to Gosford as the Central Coast Bears. It’s a masterstroke, with the Bears attracting a loyal following at Gosford (while taking a handful of home games to North Sydney Oval each year), regularly making the finals, and winning two premiership under coach Greg Florimo.

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South Queensland Crushers (1995-1997)

While the Crushers fulfill the NRL’s desire for a second Brisbane team, they don’t come close to challenging the arrogant Broncos. The Crushers survive three more seasons (until 2000), with a highest finish of 13th. After the Crushers are gone, plans immediately start for the Brisbane Bombers to enter the NRL.

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Western Reds (1995-1997)

Buoyed by a TV-friendly time difference and plenty of expat support, the Reds join the Melbourne Storm as the most powerful “non-traditional” NRL teams, with the Reds vs Storm rivalry quickly turning into one of the NRL’s best. In an effort to cut down costs, the Reds follow the Super Rugby format, spending three weeks on the road, and then playing three weeks of home games. The pattern works a treat, as the Reds go on to win three premiership, and are almost unbeatable in Perth. While AFL still rules in Western Australia, the Reds’ success ensures that rugby league has a small – but vocal – foothold there.

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