Four NRL clubs have been fined $50,000 each for disturbing incidents at their season launches.
No, it had nothing to do with players getting up to mischief while on the drink…they were fined because their season launch speeches weren’t inspiring enough.
“The whole point of season launches is to get the fans fired up for the new season,” said NRL CEO Andrew Abdo, “while the captains of the offending teams had excellent cliche-per-minute ratios in their speeches, you could tell their hearts weren’t in it.”
While Abdo didn’t want to reveal the clubs’ identities, he said they finished in the bottom six last season.
“Even though some teams should book their end-of-season Bali trips now, we still want the fans to believe their teams can go all the way, otherwise they’ll start watch aerial ping pong or rugby union. We can’t have that, can we?”
The NRL will also appoint a third-party marketing company to help the offending clubs’ image and self-belief.
“We’ve hired gun Sydney marketers SpinSpinningSpun to work their magic. These guys are so good that they convinced Channel 7 that Holey Moley was worth watching,” said Abdo.
