F*** You Channel Nein Rugby League

So Channel Nein’s rugby league bosses want the 2020 NRL season cancelled;  well, f *** you Nein , give up the rugby league coverage, no one will miss you.

If saving $130M for your busted arse network is so important to you, well then feel free to bin the whole contract and ship it off to anyone else, and we mean anyone.

Of course, being Fox Sports/Kayo snobs, we aren’t regular visitors to the Nein rugby league coverage, but we have in the past survived on a diet of what Nein were serving, and it’s hardly nutritious, or hearty.

Now we only stoop to their level four times a year (3 State of Origin clashes and the NRL Grand Final), but even they grate on the nerves. The opening to the first State of Origin broadcast is among the most painful minutes of sporting coverage anywhere in the world.

But it’s not even those four “treats” a season that infuriate us; it’s the way Nein have had their say over rugby league coverage in Australia. Given the figures that have been bandied about recently (Nein contribute much less than Foxtel), it’s a wonder why the NRL has bent over for them so far. Perhaps it’s because the NRL administration are useless: that’s a story for another day. Coming soon.

They’ve ruined Thursday nights by insisting that Canterbury-Bankstown bore us to death every second week. Thursday Night Footy also used to have Ray “I still think it’s the 1970s” Hadley. Thankfully he’s no longer there.

Fancy opening the 2020 season with the Bulldogs? Their late season run in 2019 was good, but their style of rugby league is not exciting. Where’s the grand final replay ? And the revenge for ‘Six Again’?

Then there’s Friday night, which belongs to the Brisbane Broncos.

At least back in the day the NRL were smart enough to allow two Friday night games to go on at once (one game live at 7:30-ish, the other delayed), given biased audiences and broadcasters the chance to suit themselves. It’s not that we are anti-Broncos; we’re fans of the Queensland Intrust Super Cup, which is providing the backbone, ribs and cartilage of the team at the moment, but surely there’s room for more variety. And less Nein.

ORIGINAL NRL DRAW 2020 FOR FTA GAMES

Thankfully we are spared from Nein’s influence on Saturday, when Fox League puts the ‘super’ into Super Saturday. Hour upon hour of professional broadcasts delivered by good commentators, and – with everyone other than Braith Anasta – quality analysis. Even their non ex-players know what they are talking about and aren’t just a lap dog for Gus Gould and the superstars.

We’re not forgetting Sunday afternoon rugby league, which has appeared to have been self-isolated for years in Sydney, within convenient travelling distance of Ray Warren’s house. You see, Ray doesn’t like flying, so it is important that Nein’s Sunday afternoon footy remains in Sydney for that fact. Mainly because it’s so great to hear the voice of rugby league arguing with Gus for large chunks of it.

Not forgetting the great 3pm kickoff was changed 4:10pm so Nein could broadcast the game live and it goes directly into their 6pm news.

But it’s not only who they play, but who they don’t.

Canberra were the team a lot of neutrals followed last season, but how many games do they get on the FTA broadcaster?

And despite not being at their best in recent seasons, the New Zealand Warriors are usually quite entertaining, but how many FTA offerings do they get? Well, a maximum three, as you know it is Origin time when the Warriors are on Nein.

But no matter how good they are going, in any season, they aren’t really included in the grand plans of Nein (or the NRL itself).

Let’s move away from team bias and onto their roster of commentators and analysts.

What Nein didn’t learn from their cricket commentary (which was the most self-serving and hated commentating group in Australian sport) is that the biggest names don’t always make the best commentators.

Wheeling out a Wally Lewis or Billy Slater is great for name recognition, but do they really add anything other than white noise?

Peter Sterling remains the best voice on FTA but doesn’t get the airtime he deserves. Gus Gould knows plenty, and most of his thoughts are spot on, but his arrogance makes him as hateable as right.

Andrew Johns is OK when he can be arsed. And that hovers around the 50% mark. At best.

At least they don’t have anyone as bad as Michael Slater. Or James Brayshaw.

One thing in all this does perplex us though. If the whole 2020 competition (even if it’s not the full schedule of a normal season) is going to be based in Sydney, surely this would be right down Nein’s alley? The alley from Ray Warren’s house to each Sydney ground.

And they would be able to save considerable amount of money by not having to go far, except for their beloved Friday night games at Lang Park.

Although the points Nein made were correct about how bad the NRL is run now, the amount of high-horsery has been disgusting. Especially from Gus: a man people think should take over from Todd Greenberg. Whilst he would be an improvement, it has the feeling of the great South Park episode of “Douche v Turd”.

We’re just glad the only decent thing that Greenturd has done lately is stand up to Nein.

And if Nein don’t want to be a part of the revised 2020 season (be it 15 games or whatever), then they can happily give up the coverage and schedule some more reruns of their awful, awful “social experiments”, other commercial drivel, or worse still, A Current Affair.

Then they can give it up for the seasons after that too. The NRL got their loan, now it’s time to take charge. Get another deal with another channel and run your own game.

F*** you Nein. Enjoy the 2020 NRL season one way or another.

PROS FOR NO CHANNEL NEIN

• A chance to spread the footy around: Ten and Seven are quality broadcasters (Ten with cricket’s Big Bash; Seven with the AFL and the 2017 Rugby League World Cup), and we’d love to see Saturday afternoon footy return to the ABC. It’s a chance for some fresh broadcasting talent to emerge, rather than watching the same old dinosaurs on Nein.
• No more blokey, in-jokey nonsense from Joey, Freddy, Gus etc; though Fatty and Sterlo will be missed.
• Grand finals may return to a Sunday afternoon/early evening timeslot if Nein aren’t calling the shots.
• The Broncos will be forced to play more on Saturdays and Sundays, rather than hogging Friday nights because that’s what Nein wants.
• Rabs can retire in peace – or make special appearances for Origin and the grand final. He’s in his mid-seventies and has been commentating forever; time to give him a break so we can remember him at his best.
• NRL may be able to negotiate a fairer deal for themselves, and for all NRL fans.

CONS