It’s official. After our 2020 March Jerk of the Month poll, the people who bought way too much stuff they didn’t need from the shops, and people refusing to obey quarantine restrictions are bigger jerks than Donald Trump, Scomo and Coronavirus itself.
That’s saying something about the level of jerk.
Whilst most of the people do the right nearly all of the time, some people are just such selfish jerks that they don’t care.
You could wish Coronavirus on them, but most of them already have it.
Not far behind are the leaders of Australia and the worst hit country in the world.
The rest is all academic for now, although there are a number of new cases of Jerk happening all around the world, so happily for our purposes the curve of jerk is not flattening at all.
See you in April for more of the above no doubt.
WINNERS – March 2020 Jerk of the Month
JERK – IGNORANT, SELFISH JERKS WHO IGNORE QUARANTINE RULES
C—-
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
The Coronavirus has predominantly come to Australia because of people travelling from overseas, that has been clear for some time.
So when people arrive only recently, from an area pretty well known to have the Covid-19 curse, and don’t bother self isolating or listening to what is best for everyone else, then they are jerks of the highest order. Worse than Scomo and Dutton combined.
An example of the worst is here. But a shout out to all the people doing something for one last time before something stops at midnight. Coronavirus has no watch. D–ks.
JERK RATING 416%
D – 20/10 I – 100/10 C – 5/10
JERK – PEOPLE WHO PANIC BOUGHT TONNES OF GROCERIES THEY DON’T NEED
Panic buyers
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
You’ve seen the TV footage, of empty shelves, and fistfights over TP.
Of course none of this would happen if it weren’t for selfish people loading up with way more than they needed.
Weren’t talking about the people who bought a little extra, we’re talking about people and teams of people who had tactical groups of family members and trollies waiting to load up. And then some of them realising that 15 tonnes of rice will get less delicious as the weeks wear on and trying to get their money back.
Although, may we suggest that Rice can be used for poor man’s Ice Cream – add leftover rice, milk and sugar for that sweet, sweet taste.
JERK RATING 200%
D – 20/10 I – 20/10 C – 20/10
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RESULTS – March 2020 Jerk of the Month
Here’s you you voted for the Jerk of the Month. So close.
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March 2020 Jerk of the Month Runner Up Guide
JERK – CORONAVIRUS aka COVID-19
Pandemic with menace
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
For stuffing the entire world.
Killing people, making many more sick, and forcing anything good to shut down including all sport.
F— You Coronavirus. And the horse you rode in on.
JERK RATING 3700%
D – 100/10 I – 1000/10 C – 10/10
JERK – SCOTT MORRISON
Australian PM
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
We really see what a leader does in a crisis, and although the PM who was so useless during the Bushfires hasn’t been as hopeless as potentially could, he also hasn’t inspired.
Decision making has been slowish, and where possible blame and/or responsibility shifted to the states.
And, despite all that is going on, he still has that oh-so-punchable smirk.
Could have been nominated for JOM alone for his insistence on seeing his beloved Sharks play despite instructions to the contrary to the rest of the nation. Yes, they started on the Monday but what an example. Pill.
JERK RATING 90%
D – 9/10 I – 9/10 C – 9/10
JERK – QLD ELECTORAL COMMISSION
People who run elections
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Local Government elections are a waste of time at the best of times, and certainly not during this current Coronavirus period.
To make us vote is certainly jerk-worthy,
At a minimum postpone, or even make it non compulsory. Although being local government there is a danger of less than 10% participation rate.
So up yours AEC Qld and I hope many votes are informal, so your time is wasted like ours.
Although, we do need to clarify that our thoughts in general of local government elections does not apply to Forest Lake councilor Charles Strunk, who is one of the hardest working politicians and worthy of many a vote.
JERK RATING 57%
D – 5/10 I – 10/10 C – 2/10
JERK – ANYONE STILL MAKING JOKES ABOUT CORONAVIRUS AND CORONABEER
People who think they’re funny
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Put simply, we got the joke of Coronavirus and the semi-awful beer that needs lemon to make it interesting have the same name. And some of the early jokes were funny.
Not it’s not when we have to stockpile it because of its namesake.
JERK RATING 10%
D – 1/10 I – 1/10 C – 1/10
JERK – ANYONE PLAYING SOCIAL MEDIA GAME WHERE PEOPLE COUGH ON OLDER PEOPLE AND FILM THE RESULTS
Morons
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
There have been so many great social media moments during this Coronavirus crisis, so eventually some twits were going to come up with something terrible.
Step in, the people who film themselves coughing at elderly people and filming it for their socials.
You can only they are next to catch it.
JERK RATING 70%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 1/10
JERK – TV NEWS
Excitable boys / girls
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
As per usual the TV News has been full of panic, breaking news and contradiction.
From tut-tutting people for panic buying then alarming everyone that there is food left.]
From saying that no one is around usual hotspots which is good then going straight to business owner shutting their doors and probably losing their livelihood.
And countless other BS they thankfully we can’t remember now.
And after watching too much of it, why do they always talk in a rhythm that doesn’t happen in real life.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10
JERK – STUART ROBERT
Minister for Social Services
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
With workers around the nation laid off, and people desperate for assistance, how about the Minister of Social Services having so little of a clue that he fobs off the crash My Gov website with a “My Bad”
Why do we even have ministers anyway. How about appointing CEOs instead and have professionals running the shows instead of ignorant muppets.
Oh, and for his surname of Robert instead of Roberts.
JERK RATING 70%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 1/10
JERK – DONALD TRUMP
P.O.S.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
It wouldn’t be a monthly Jerk poll without the POTUS, and he has certainly delivered loads of jerk this month.
We still think his best work is ahead of him, and have reserved a carpark for him for April and beyond.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10
New Jerk Rating system
A new feature for 2020 is the enhanced Jerk rating to go along with the Jerk of the Month form guide each month.
Previously it was just a flat /10 mark, but we think there’s more layers than that. What needs to be considered is how big the jerk act was in the current month compared to their usual way of life. How important the person is, i.e. a person who should know/do better or just a random person who couldn’t help themselves. Finally, how consistently a jerk they are. The more they are, the more they deserve your vote in general.
D – Dastardly – For instance, a random footballer king hitting a referee is pretty bad, where yet another tantrum from a Tomic type person would be lower.
I – Importance – Was the jerk act at a big event, captured the world’s attention, or made by someone in a position who should know plenty better.
C – Consistency – Is the person a Jerk all the time, and with each new month’s nomination grows into your vote.
[…] Although, as a footnote to the above, the person who bought 1000’s of rolls of toilet paper and then tried to get his money back from an IGA store, got the finger from a IGA manager. So an upside is come-uppence for jerks like that. And plenty of those similar jerks won the February 2020 Jerk of the Month award. […]