Can you believe it is almost halfway through 2019, and that Nick Kyrgios is up for a 2019 Jerk of the Month nomination.
This month sees the usual suspects nominated, not because of any bias on our behalf, more their dedication to excellence in the field of jerkery.
There’s the usual amount of sports stars, but thankfully we are politician free for the first time in a while.
Whoever wins the June 2019 Jerk of the Month is up to you. So, as ever, vote early and vote often.
VOTE NOW – June 2019 Jerk of the Month
Vote for as many of the this month’s Jerk nominations as you like. They’ve asked for it.
To find out why everyone made the list, read our Jerk of the Month form guide below.
FORM GUIDE – June 2019 Jerk of the Month
ISRAEL FOLAU
Why nominated for the Jerk?
Folau is quickly making himself the most hated sporting star in Australia, although sporting star is a loose term as he was sacked by his sport and was only playing rugby union anyway.
His campaign to raise $3M via GoFundMe to pay for legal costs after his sacking, has taken away any shred of compassion or likability, and he is now faced with only a few of sport’s dirtiest paths to make his money. French rugby, Chinese Soccer, FIFA board member.
Although, there is still room in his schedule to start a Creflo A Dollar style early morning TV preaching show.
Jerk Rating: 9/10
NICK KYRGIOS
Why nominated for the Jerk?
With Wimbledon around the corner, we thought that our favourite tennis jerk (Kyrgios is strangely 200% more likable than Tomic, perhaps that’s because Kyrgios may actually win something one day) would save himself for the big SW19 tournament for his best jerk work.
Being the professional jerk that he is, he found time for a dummy spit in the Queens tournament in London last week, celebrating another early round loss by hurling his racquet out of the court.
Hopefully a sign of bigger things to come for Wimbledon.
Jerk Rating: 10/10
MICHAEL SLATER
Why nominated for the Jerk?
There’s nothing like a big sporting tournament, and the Cricket World Cup is a good one to follow, Australians have pumped themselves up for the tilt at back to back titles in England.
And then Michael Slater’s voice comes on the television screens, and enthusiasm for the cricket, and life itself plummets.
Thankfully all TVs are installed with the Michaelslater Underwhelming Tripe Eviction function aka MUTE button.
F— Michael Slater.
Jerk Rating: 9.7/10
BEN STRATTON
Why nominated for the Jerk?
Ensuring that AFL players keep up with other sports in the Jerk of the Month nominations, the Hawthorn AFL is nominated for pinching.
Yes, pinching.
AFL can be a niggly game, with melees mixed in with sly punches and elbow, and the occasional shirtfront, but pinching is the most pissweak way of annoying a fellow player. And is only the work of a jerk.
Jerk Rating: 5/10
STEP ONE UNDERWEAR SALESMAN
Why nominated for the Jerk?
If you have Foxtel you’re probably sick of the Queen song and the fact that Foxtel always offer better shit to people who aren’t Foxtel customers than who are. But loyalty is no longer rewarded these days.
You would also have seen the man trying to flog off his jocks, no pun intended. Sure they’re made of bamboo, and they are probably at least 31% better than the leading brand f something or other, but most of Australia doesn’t want to see your plum hammock for 30 seconds every 10 minutes.
Jerk Rating: 2/10
HARD RUBBISH SCAVENGERS
Why nominated for the Jerk?
Sure, people have to make a dollar anyway they can. But surely you can do it without being the biggest, most inconsiderate jerk in the world.
The Hard Rubbish scavengers invade suburbs the weekend before a kerbside collection takes place in various suburbs around Brisbane when it is their turn, and cause annoyance to all.
They have their vehicle setups akin to the opening scenes to the Beverley Hillbillies, and drive around a single figure kmh trying to scope the kerbside for the discarded piece of shit they can turn into a few bucks.
Doesn’t matter about anyone else on the road, in their house, or on the planet if there is the fourth unwanted fridge they could grab.
Some of these jerks even go into people’s yards and houses and take stuff that is on offer, thus proving their low life credentials.
Thankfully for most suburbs, these creatures only come around once a year.
Jerk Rating: 10/10
NOOSA
Why nominated for the Jerk?
Noosa is bored of tourists, and want to get rid of them.
Why wouldn’t you want to keep a nice part of the world to yourself we guess.
But what a bunch of snobs, and jerks.
Jerk Rating: 7/10
2019 JERK OF THE MONTH HALL OF FAME
Here’s this months winner so far.
All go into the end of season Jerk of the Year draw.
May 2019 – Nick Kyrgios
April 2019 – Fraser Anning & Foxtel
March 2019 – Fraser Anning & Christchurch Shooter
February 2019 – MKR & Tara McWilliams
January 2019 – Tennis Jerks, Fox Cricket, Channel Seven
