A 2019 State of Origin Survival Guide for Channel Nein

The 2019 State of Origin series is a few days away, as exciting as the biggest games in rugby league are, for many diehard rugby league fans who watch the NRL competition each week, it will be the first taste of Channel Nein for the season.

Faced with the daunting prospect of Rabs, Gus and co, it is important to know how best to cope with having to sit through the four mandatory Channel Nein sessions for the season.

Although we admit we are Fox League snobs, there have been times where we haven’t had the luxury of paying to watch quality coverage, ad and Gus/Wally Lewis free, so we appreciate the job and balance FTA sport coverage has to provide. We do still support quality FTA coverage, like SBS World Cups, just not the dross that is usually any sport run by Channel Nein. The Intrust Super Cup coverage is all good of course, but their lack of PNG Hunters games stinks.

Our 2019 State of Origin Survival Guide will offer up a few options on how to combat the drop in quality for the big interstate battle.

Of course, one could say to all of the above and below for us to quit our moaning as it is rugby league’s biggest game and it is only four game a year that we have to suffer with Channel Nein. Fair enough too.

But what will likely happen is the Nein saturation point will be reached at 25 minutes.

2019 State of Origin Survival Guide Tactic 1

Record it – and watch the recording

Technology is a wonderful thing, and such technology allows one to record things and watch them at your leisure.

This certainly includes State of Origin, and this tactic will basically cover all of the following tactics.

But it will be at the expense of the feeling of watching it live. 

PRO – Can condense the State of Origin package into a tight 80 mins.

PRO – Little children friendly – if bedtime is around kick off, ensure the little ones get their regular bedtime to ensure they don’t wake up during the match.

PRO – Can pause to grab refreshments. And avoid half time.

CON – Will need to avoid social media and friends and family on What’s App

CON – Temptation to fast forward all the boring bits.

2019 State of Origin Survival Guide Tactic 2

Avoid as much of the pre-game as you can

There is nothing more cliched in sport than the opening sequence to a big sporting event, and the Channel Nein opener is up there with some of the very worst.

It doesn’t help that Gus Gould is one of the first Channel Nein faces you see for the State of Origin series. But despite the fact that he is actually one of the better rugby league analysts in the media, he is pretty painful come Origin time.

But year on year it fees like the same old, same old. 

You know there’ll be a slow motion montage. Of course there will. The chance that at least one of them will be to the soundtrack of Nickelback is a reason to avoid at all costs.

There’ll probably be a musical interruption too, usually a band that most haven’t heard and fewer care for. One of the latest album they’ll say. You’ll believe them as you are usually unaware of the names, volumes and relative quality of the previous releases.

The worse thing is that it goes for even longer this year. Channel Nein announcing like it is a favour that the overage starts at 7pm. Well, actually it is a favour as A Current Affair appears to have been moved. 

But with the game kick off advertised on tipping websites as 8:10pm, that makes it a solid 70 minutes of rubbish before hand.

It does beat the usual 8:25pm and beyond, adding an extra edge to the hangover, but still best avoided.

We’ve found the Simpsons as a good way of avoiding hype, and if you have Foxtel you are a 50% chance of catching at episode. Our Youtubing previous Origin is a great time filler. We have a few of our favourites at the end.

PRO – Will not angry up the blood in advance realising just how little you miss Channel Nein.

CON – Missing the kick off and first hit up (always the best 10 seconds) by cutting it too fine.

2019 State of Origin Survival Guide Tactic 3

Drink and Eat Plenty

Sorting out your food and drink for the evening is important, and a welcome distraction as it can allow the coverage to be on in the background whilst the provisions are organised.

Food should however be sorted well in advance with meal plans for Wednesday set well in advance.

We recommend easy quick win finger food, or anything microwavable. Or nothing at all is even easier.

If you want to be fully disappointed before kick off, we advise to order pizza from any major chain. Wait times are usually around the time it takes to play the game, so ordering around 5:30 is wise. Eating during Origin is annoying.

While we don’t encourage drinking to excess, alcohol does make the time go quicker. Energy drinks are equally bad for you, but occasionally required to keep a buzz rather than slide down into the depths of cynicism of watching the Channel Nein coverage. An origin inspired hangover is a right of passage in some areas.

PRO – Distractions organising

PRO – Alcohol makes the game go quicker.

CON – Eat too much.

CON – Heartburn from eating crap.

CON – Hangovers.

2019 State of Origin Survival Guide Tactic 4

Bet Early Bet Often

Gambling is an excellent way of adding interest into any contest, and a way of distracting yourself during the coverage.

Although don’t forget not to bet more than you can afford, as then the FTA experience will cost you plenty.

There are 100’s of markets. So we’ll lay out the ones we like the best. Sportsbet has plenty of options.

• Last Tryscorer – as popular as the first tryscorer is, your bet could be over within minutes, while the last tryscorer is live until the very end. And it is usually better value as it is a more diverse group.
• Man of the Match – this one provides a bit of value, but it is usually the same few players. Although less so since the retirements of Smith, Thurston, Cronk and Slater.
• Any Tryscorer Markets – this allows you to support someone even if your chosen state is losing.
• Exact Points – Either State – a good one to keep you in the game until the end. You can get good value too. Sadly you can’t multi them up. Arseholes.
• Same Game Multi – nothing says surefire winner than a multi which includes multiple betting options all within the same game.

PRO – Having so many tickets that you can’t lose

CON – Having so many tickets you lose your pants to Jeff.

2019 State of Origin Survival Guide Tactic 5

Alternative tipping comps and Games

Not everyone enjoys betting, so going a level down from wagering is our Alternative tipping.

This isn’t getting a group together for a simple head to head tipping battle, more like tipping some fun events that aren’t currently covered by Sportsbet.

So here is our suggestions at some fun tipping options.

• Kick Off Time – with Channel Nein milking the extra audience to their rugby league coverage than usual, the pre game hype and pomp will go for what seems like forever. So why not get your tipping posse to guess the time the ball is actually kicked off.
• Which Sydney Musical will supply the singer for the National Anthem – it’s not a matter of if, but which one. The NRL never miss an opportunity for cross promotion and commercial gain, so usually the National Anthem is sung by someone attached to the latest Australian incarnation of a Broadway classic.
• How many players will not sing the National Anthem – news around the Origin camps is that Cody Walker may make an Origin statement with the national anthem. As noble as their reasons are, you and your friends can try and tip how many will either not sing in unison of Walker, or just not know the words. Either way it is a great tipping option.
• Gus Keyword Bingo – not quite a tipping comp, but you could devise a bunch of words that Gus (or any Nein commentator) regularly use, and cross them off as they are mentioned.
• Will an Official Fall Over?
• Player who concedes first penalty.
• Will the person singing the National Anthem forget any words?
• Streaker Yes/No.

PRO – Cheap free entertainment

CON – Who can be bothered

2019 State of Origin Survival Guide Tactic 6

The great Radio commentary sync battle

With all of the above you can cause distractions and delays, but ultimately you have to sit through the 80 minutes of Channel Nein commentary.

Unless you have a settop box of Foxtel and can use the pause function on the TV remote. There is a small window of sinking radio commentary, but the risk is you waste ten minutes perfecting it and it is still rubbish.

If it is for Roy and HG (if they are doing it this year on Macquarie Sports Radio), then it is worth the trouble. For any other potential broadcaster it probably isn’t.

PRO – No Rabs

CON – Miss five minutes and still not get it right.

2019 State of Origin Survival Guide Tactic 7

Shut up. Watch it. Like it.

Meanwhile,allow us to shamelessly plug our previous State of Origin gear.

2019 State of Origin Survival Guide Youtube Filler