Alternative NRL Round 5 Predictions and Preview – Gurgler v NFL

Welcome to our alternative preview of the rugby league weekend ahead plus NRL Round 5 predictions.

Want more Haiku in your life? Feel the need for poetry and rugby league to collide? Or interested in NRL Round 5 Predictions based on a barely interesting stat or something completely unrelated to rugby league. Of course you do, and our Alternative preview and NRL Round 5 Predictions has just about everything.

There’s a bit of betting talk, TV times for the ultimate sloth, and more. Like the much-loved C & C Music Factory, we’ll hopefully give you a few things that make you go hmmmm.

Want to read more? Of course you do. Our Alternative NRL Round 5 Predictions and Preview awaits.

There’s also our NRL Team of the Week for Week 4. Plus some Game of Thrones related NRL gear.

NRL ROUND 5 PREDICTIONS – GURGLER PREDICTIONS

BRONCOS to beat Tigers
PANTHERS to beat Titans
STORM to beat Cowboys
RABBITOHS to beat Warriors
MANLY to beat Knights
ROOSTERS to beat Sharks
BULLDOGS To beat Dragons
RAIDERS to beat Eels

TIPPING PROGRESS – 19/32 
— Last Week 6/8

BEST BET PROGRESS – 15/32
$1 Season Earnings $35.49 (from $1 bet on all tips)
— Last Week 4/8 — $8.27

NRL ROUND 5 PREDICTIONS – OPPONENT PREDICTIONS – v NFL

BACKGROUND FOR TIPS – After the big news of Valentine Holmes’ chance at the NFL with the New York Giants, and the NRL’s wish in general to be just like the NFL, it has never been more timely to use the NFL to generate NRL tips.

To do that, we have associated each NRL side with an NFL equivalent. For some it was easy as the nickname matched 100%. For other it got a bit hard.

For instance there’s no Storm, so since they are the dirtiest team we ironically matched them to the New Orleans Saints. There’s no Dragon based NFL side, and since they are from Game of Thrones and so were Giants, so they become New York Giants for a week. 

Given the Rabbitohs are actually named after the person selling rabbits that had been skinned, why not use Washington Redskins. Warriors become Chiefs and Knights become Patriots. Other teams like Sharks and Roosters were matched to the nearest similar animal.

And the Eels become 49ers thanks to Jarryd Hayne.

So whichever equivalent NFL side had the better regular season win %, they get this week’s tip.

(Team and 2018-19 Win% in brackets.)

BRONCOS (Denver Broncos 38%) to beat
Wests Tigers (Cincinnati Bengals 38%) (on Points Diff)

TITANS (Tennessee Titans 56%) to beat 
Panthers (Carolina Panthers 44%)

STORM (New Orleans Saints 81%) to beat
Cowboys (Dallas Cowboys 63%)

WARRIORS (Kansas City Chiefs 75%) to beat
Rabbitohs (Washington Redskins 44%)

KNIGHTS (New England Patriots 69%) to beat
Manly (Seattle Seahawks 63%)

ROOSTERS (Atlanta Falcons 44%) to beat
SHARKS (Miami Dolphins 44%) on points diff

BULLDOGS (Cleveland Browns 47%) to beat
Dragons (NY Giants 31%)

RAIDERS (Minnesota Vikings 53%) to beat 
EELS (San Fran 49ers 25%)

OPPOSITION TIPPING PROGRESS – 13/24

Week 1 – First Round Form – 5/8
Week 2 – Best Supported Club in 2018 – 5/8
Week 3 – Club Memberships – 3/8
Week 4 – April Fool’s Day – 3/8

NRL ROUND 5 PREVIEW – MATCH BY MATCH PREVIEW

Here is our short game by game preview and we feature the only NRL preview using Haiku to describe each game. (Don’t know what a Haiku is? Here’s Wikipedia) There is plenty of other lightweight stuff including some barely interesting facts, our “best bet”, and a few thoughts about the game ahead in point. Quantity over quality we say.

THU 7:50pm – BRISBANE BRONCOS v WESTS TIGERS

Head to Head since 1998 –  Broncos 22 Wests Tigers 5
Last Season: Wests Tigers 7 Broncos 9

MATCH PREVIEW POETRY

Thursday night footy
Variety not the spice
At home of Broncos

BARELY INTERESTING FACT

Of the five victories the Wests Tigers have had over the Broncos since forming in 2000, four of them have come at Suncorp Stadium. The latest in 2016.

SIDE INTERESTS

Interesting starting to see the old club legends starting to turn on the current bunch of youngsters in the press. And on Darius Boyd, with some justification.

No Pangai means Patrick Carrigan could make his debut off the bench. But there is a hulking, looming Payne Haas named in the reserves. James Roberts is also named in the reserves, but can’t see that happening.

The Broncos were just ordinary last weekend, but they have only lost one in their last 12 Thursday night games at home. And an overall record of 80%.

The Tigers were probably the better side in an awful game last weekend. Josh Reynolds one of the best, and he gets another week to shine before Benji Marshall returns.

BEST BET

Corey Oates – anytime try scorer @ $1.57

FRI 6:00pm – GOLD COAST TITANS v PENRITH PANTHERS

Head to Head since 1998 –  Panthers 12 Titans 7
Last Season: Gold Coast 16 Penrith 17 — Penrith 35  Gold Coast 12

MATCH PREVIEW POETRY

Winless Gold Coast down
Time for ex Panthers to shine
Coach included too

BARELY INTERESTING FACT

Gold Coast have won only one game of the eight between these sides kicking off at 5:30pm or later.

SIDE INTERESTS

Dallin Watene-Zelezniak selected at fullback, no offence to Dylan Edwards, but a change will surely be an improvement.

Viliame Kikau is back in the starting line up and hopefully kik’auing arse.

A bunch of ex Panthers up against their old club, and all of them need to step up a little.

So too the Titans halves as well.

BEST BET

Total Match points under 38.5 pts @ $1,90

FRI 7:50pm – NORTH QLD COWBOYS v MELBOURNE STORM

Head to Head since 1998 –  Storm 28 Cowboys 10
Last Season: Melbourne 30  North Queensland 14 — North Queensland 6  Melbourne 7

MATCH PREVIEW POETRY

Poor old Cowboys
Their reshuffle hasn’t worked
Need JT robot

BARELY INTERESTING FACT

North Queensland haven’t beaten Melbourne since the finals win before their Grand Final in 2015. Eight wins in a row for the Storm.

SIDE INTERESTS

The Cowboys look terrible at the moment, and whilst you shouldn’t blame it all on Jason Taumalolo’s absence, it must be close to being the main reason. But the Cowboys forward pack is stacked with Origin and Test stars.

Melbourne were pushed right to the end by the Bulldogs, and surely the Cowboys have more dangerous weapons than the Bulldogs.

Enari Tuala was good enough to play in the Prime Ministers game v PNG despite having 11 games in the NRL. He gets his first chance for 2019 in the centres.

One hopes that Easts Tigers big man Albert Vete can sneak into the Storm 17, after his three tries last weekend and great 2019 form for Easts.

BEST BET

Gavin Cooper to score anytime @ $4.00

SAT 3:00pm – SOUTH SYDNEY RABBITOHS v NZ WARRIORS

Head to Head since 1998 –  Warriors 17 Rabbitohs 14
Last Season: South Sydney 20  Warriors 32 — Warriors 10  South Sydney 30

MATCH PREVIEW POETRY

Home of the Falcons
Gets first taste of NRL
Sadly no Inglis

BARELY INTERESTING FACT

The Warriors have a 48% win record for games in Queensland since 2010. They also have a 71% record for games kicking off between 2pm and 4:30pm.

SIDE INTERESTS

How the big game on the Sunshine Coast goes. Hopefully it will be packed and noisy. And lead to another region declaring themselves ready for an NRL side.

Greg Inglis has been one of the main talking points leading into the week. Whether his body and form is up to it. He has been given a week’s leave and will miss the sun this weekend.

The curtain raiser is between Easts and the Sunshine Coast – both are undefeated after five rounds, and both are Melbourne Storm feeder clubs.

Given the Warriors have been terrible and then great in consecutive weeks, can we guess which side turns up this weekend.

RTS is a side interest all to himself at the back of the Warriors side.

Kyle Turner in the centres for the Rabbitohs. Solid enough, but not a game breaker.

Will Clive Palmer be there?

BEST BET

Campbell Graham to score a try and South Sydney Rabbitohs to win @ $1.91

SAT 5:30pm – NEWCASTLE KNIGHTS v MANLY SEA EAGLES

Head to Head since 1998 –  Manly 16 Knights 14
Last Season: Manly Warringah 12  Newcastle 18 — Newcastle 19  Manly Warringah 18

MATCH PREVIEW POETRY

Turbo-less Manly
Stepped up big time last weekend
Now put Knights to sword

BARELY INTERESTING FACT

One side has scored exactly 18 points in each of the last three matches. Newcastle have won just one o their past 10 games that have kicked off at 5:30pm on a Saturday night.

SIDE INTERESTS

Both were involved in games decided by a golden point field goal last weekend, Manly were successful, and the Knights ended up losing to the Dragons. Can it be another golden point game? Last season’s game at Newcastle was.

Ponga was back to the back on the weekend and back to his best. 

Manly fired up following the loss of star fullback Tom Trbojevic, but they can’t rely on that lift this weekend.

Two of rugby league’s least liked halfback go head to head. DCE proved he is a match winner though.

David Klemmer v Martin Taupau is a real mouth watering battle.

BEST BET

Manly +4.5 start @ $1.90

SAT 7:30pm – CRONULLA SHARKS v ROOSTERS

Head to Head since 1998 –  Roosters 24 Sharks 16
Last Season: Roosters 21  Sharks 12 — Sharks 10  Roosters 28

MATCH PREVIEW POETRY

Roosters impressive
On their way to back to back
Sharks still a tough side

BARELY INTERESTING FACT

The Roosters have won 6/7 clashes in April between these sides since 1998.

SIDE INTERESTS

Is Bronson Xerri the best rugby league player with a surname starting with X since former Penrith star Anthony Xuereb?

Hopefully the Sharks stay injury free during the warm up.

Jared Waerea-Hargreaves and Andrew Fifita is a decent prop head to head. Both capable of anything. Good and bad.

Surely if Roosters play half as good as last weekend they’ll be hard to beat.

BEST BET

Roosters to win 1-12 @ $3.00

SUN 4:05pm – ST GEORGE-ILLAWARA DRAGONS v BULLDOGS

Head to Head since 1998 –  Buldlogs 24 StG-Illa Dragons 12
Last Season: Bulldogs 16  St George Illawarra 18 — St George Illawarra 0  Bulldogs 38

MATCH PREVIEW POETRY

Do we need to say
That 4pm on Sunday
Domain of Sydney

BARELY INTERESTING FACT

Bulldogs have won 12 of the last 14 games v Dragons. The Bulldogs have won 4/5 at Jubilee.

SIDE INTERESTS

Can Corey Norman win a game in Golden Point for the third week running.

Perhaps as a left field idea, inspired by the Bulldogs final conversion taken from the wrong spot last weekend, that the NRL could introduce a rule to spice up conversions. The original (and pretty silly) idea is after the try has been scored the opposition captain has the power to tell the opposition team to move the ball 10m sideways or backwards after the goal kicker has placed the ball. This adds difficulty and tactics into conversions, which sometimes feel like an annoying delay to the rest of the game. And the paybacks that would flow.

BEST BET

Will there be Extra Time? Yes @ $23

SUN 6:10pm – CANBERRA RAIDERS v PARRAMATTA EELS

Head to Head since 1998 –  Canberra 19 Parramatta 12
Last Season: Canberra 18 Parramatta 2

MATCH PREVIEW POETRY

Parra flying high
Raiders are on track now too
Raider Foxtel Kings

BARELY INTERESTING FACT

Going back to 2001, Parramatta have only won at Canberra once in 13 visits.

SIDE INTERESTS

Clint Gutherson and Blake Ferguson continue to entertain.

Due for a Ricky Stuart blow up soon, especially if he loses to his most recent former club.

The Joey Leilua-Jordan Rapana partnership is blossoming again. Not that the Cotric-Croker partnership is much less effective.

BEST BET

Canberra to win @ $1.56

RUGBY LEAGUE TV TIMES THIS WEEKEND

Want more rugby league than you can watch? Well here’s the full schedule for the weekend ahead.