Welcome to the Who Cares Guide to Brazil v Switzerland World Cup Group E Action. The Gurgler’s quick and easy guide for the match up of one of the big teams at the 2018 FIFA World Cup and one that promises high ranking but never looks like winning anything.
We’ve gone to the minimal of effort, so you can go to even less to keep up to date.
Sure you can go to many, far better websites, blogs, and endless TV shows of varying quality, but none will attempt to put it in the style you want. As little effort as possible.
We’ll throw in some barely interesting stats that you can roll off at work, home, or even to the parrot you trained to say “Mo (as in Salah)” and “Gooooooalllll.”
Conveniently, due to our own apathy, you can come here for both the preview and review. So come back for a review of the game you can use quickly.
So onwards then, to the Brazil v Switzerland World Cup Group E Action.
A WHO CARES BRAZIL v SWITZERLAND WORLD CUP PREVIEW
Head to Head Record
Nil
Last Meeting
Nil
When is it? (AEST)
Monday 18 July at 4am
How Should I Watch It?
Should I Stay Up? (Must watch and Stay Up),
Get Up? (Gotta watch live with pre sleep),
Wake Up? (Record and Wake up Normal Time), or
Catch Up? (Check the Score and the Group table and move on)
Stay Up, this is the second of a Germany-Brazil double header. Two teams who could meet in the final. And you’re already up by now.
The story…
Brazil are looking to make amends after having their pants pulled down by Germany in the semi final of the last World Cup in their home country, and they are looking the goods this time around. Neymar is back from injury and scoring in friendlies, and it is really looking like their year. Switzerland are ranked 6th, and were unlucky not to automatically qualify having won nine and lost one from 10 qualifiers, they lost out goal difference. Looks to be out of Serbia and the Swiss for second. Possibly damage limitation here.
Players to Watch
Neymar (Brazil) – Xheridan Shaqiri (Switzerland)
Our Bold Prediction
Brazil 4-1
Odds
Brazil $1.40 Switzerland $9.00
Draw $4.40 0-0 $12.00
Brazil 4-1 $23.00
Courtesy of Neds Bet
Best Bet
Coutinho to score anytime @ $2.75
Bluff your way to World Cup expertise
Brazil have won 5 World Cups, but are still smarting from the 7-1 semi final loss to Germany at the last world cup. This is one of the lowest head to head ranking games in the group stage.
Who Will Win based on a bunch of Stats of varying use.
BEST KIT – Brazil
BEST BADGE – Switzerland
BEST HEAD TO HEAD – Draw
BEST MOST RECENT RESULT – Draw
BEST BETS – Brazil
BEST NICKNAME – Canarinha (Little Canary – Brazil) > Nati (Short for National Team – Switzerland)
UNDERDOGS CHOICE – Switzerland
MUTTSTRADAMUS THE DOG SELECTS – Brazil
AGAINST a 2YO / 5YO CHILD (Combined Effort) – Brazil
From our previous discussion on how to pick World Cup winners.
STATS WINNING SELECTION – Brazil
REVIEW
Stay tuned for the review after the game.
You know it will be just the amount of information you need.
