Welcome to the Who Cares Guide to France v Australia World Cup Group C Action. The Gurgler’s quick and easy guide for the first of the big Socceroos games at the Group Stage of the 2018 World Cup in Russia.
We’ve gone to the minimal of effort, so you can go to even less to keep up to date.
Sure you can go to many, far better websites, blogs, and endless TV shows of varying quality, but none will attempt to put it in the style you want. As little effort as possible.
We’ll throw in some barely interesting stats that you can roll off at work, home, or even as you line up for another schooner on Friday night.
Conveniently, due to our own apathy, you can come here for both the preview and review.
So onwards then, to the France v Australia World Cup Group c Action.
A WHO CARES FRANCE v AUSTRALIA WORLD CUP REVIEW
Australians did well, but France got the three points. The best of it all is below.
THE RESULT
FRANCE 2
Griezmann (58′ minutes pen), Behich (80′ minutes og)
AUSTRALIA 1
Jedinak (62′ minutes pen)
WAS IT WORTH THE LACK OF SLEEP?
GAME RATING 8/10
Well technically given it was an 8pm kick off on a Saturday night there shouldn’t have been too much lack of sleep. Perhaps afterwards as you try to come down from the high of watching the game.
But it was a good enough game to watch as an Australian, which is why it gets an 8/10. Perhaps lower if we weren’t involved.
SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
Many things happened, the match featured the first penalty awarded via VAR, after initially being waved away by the referee, so it was a historic match for that reason.
France, with their megarich squad peppered the Australian goal early, Mat Ryan being called into action many times in the opening ten minutes, and was well up for the job.
It then became an arm wrestle, of which it has to be said, that Astralia looked the far more comfortable. Leckie got a yellow card in the 13th minute, and he was probably lucky to stay on the pitch given how many times the man he was marking (Hernandez Villain No 2) fell over during the match.
So no goals then in the first half, all the action was to come, but 0-0 was a scoreline Aussies should have been happy with.
The big moment came in the 54th minute as Griezmann went down in the box, but it was waved away initially as play continued. When play stopped the referee went over to the VAR screen, and you just knew it wasn’t going to be good, and it wasn’t. The technically correct decision was made, so VAR did its job,but it still sucks. Griezmann duly converted the penalty and France led 1-0.
Australia hit back not long after with their own penalty, as the French defender Samuel Umtit thought no one would notice his stray hand in the air. Wrong. Penalty awarded, and the man with the best International penalty strike rate at the World Cup – Mile Jedinak – stepped up and made it 1-1.
France then pushed hard for a winner, and Australia repelled them in a tense finish to the match. But unfortunately for the Socceroos a slice of luck went against them as Paul Pogba in a rare moment of action for the French (that he can’t blame on Mourinho) blasted a shot which took a looping deflection off Australian defender Behich, and just crossed the line before spiining back like a golf ball on a green. France 2-1.
The French held on, and another goal looked as unlikely as it did before the second goal for France, and without Tim Cahill on, there was little hope it would come.
A reat effort none the less, and certainly better than the 3+ doom predicted by many including us.
WHAT DID WE LEARN?
Australians really did give their all, and I believe the game proved we are capable of competing with any nation. Which is a relief as ur lead in form for the World Cup was worrying.
France, despite all the squad value were not overly impressive, but certainly have the players, and will likely improve given a less physical opponent.
TURNING POINT?
VAR intervention. Despite scoring not long after with our own penalty, it did take a little of the wind from the sails.
Or the introduction of Giroud for France.
WHERE TO FROM HERE?
France got the three points as expected, so will continue on their way through Group C, but will want to get sharper than they were against Australia. Particularly after seeing Denmark v Peru.
Australia probably needed the draw to have a chance of getting out, as they now need a win and draw at minimum to get through, and I think Peru will really trouble Australia despite losing their first match. Happily they play Denmark next.
MOMENT OF JOY?
Depending on who you were supporting. The Nacho goal would have been the moment for Spanish fans and neutrals, and the third Ronaldo goal was pure joy for Portuguese.
BEST GOAL
Technically the last one, as the other two were penalties, but even the match sealing goal had a large chunk of luck about it. Hmmm, taste those sour grapes.
THE HERO
Socceroos
Very few gave us a chance, and to push France all the way was an outstanding achievement. Australian didn’t expect wins, but always like a team to try, and they sure did that.
THE VILLAIN 1
VAR
From a purely selfish Australian viewpoint. Sure the decision is technically correct, but in World Cups gone without it, play would have moved on and only the French could moan about it.
THE VILLAIN 2
HERNANDEZ
Spent most of the game falling over, a poster boy for why football will never fully catch on in Australia. Socceroos do play tough unfortunately, and these scenes are replayed repeatedly in our games, as other team prefer to fall over than stand up.
OTHER BITS AND PIECES + FUN AND GAMES
France’s three subs were worth 110M alone (according to transfermarkt.com).
LOOKALIKES
Sometimes the 90 minutes can drag on, so you need something else to keep your mind engaged at whatever in the morning it was. So here are the best fromthe Russia v Saudi Arabia world cup opener.
Mile Jedinak looks like Ned Kelly, which may even suit him.
There’s always been a little Wil Anderson in Olivier Giroud
An obscure one – Antoine Griezmann looks like one of the Stoners from the movie Super Troopers.
A WHO CARES FRANCE v AUSTRALIA WORLD CUP PREVIEW
Head to Head Record
France 1 Draw 1 Australia 1
Last Meeting
France 6 Australia 0 – Friendly 2013
When is it? (AEST)
Saturday 16 July at 8pm
How Should I Watch It?
Should I Stay Up? (Must watch and Stay Up),
Get Up? (Gotta watch live with pre sleep),
Wake Up? (Record and Wake up Normal Time), or
Catch Up? (Check the Score and the Group table and move on)
If it isn’t Stay Up, and you’re not an essential shift working Australian hero, then you are officially un-Australian. And possibly un-French.
The story…
Two teams with entirely different expectations.
France are the multi million team full of stars, whose B side they could fashion from World Cup rejects is around the half billion mark in value. They should be looking at quarter finals at the barest of minimums and beyond. They quality all over the park that very few World Cup nations will have. And one of the best forwards in the world in Antoine Griezmann.
Australia on the other hand have nil expectations, and maybe that could play into their hands. You could say this is the toughest game of their group stage, and all it will take is a sneaky draw here against the French to not only increase their chances but throw the whole group into chaos.
The French do have a history of losing the plot at World Cups, but surely it won’t happen this time.
Players to Watch
Paul Pogba (France) – Aaron Mooy (Australia)
Our Bold Prediction
France 3-0
Odds
France $1.22 Australia $15.00
Draw $5.50 0-0 $13.00
France 3-0 $7
Courtesy of Neds Bet
Best Bet
France to win and Over 2.5 Goals @ $2.95
Bluff your way to World Cup expertise
Australia have drawn the most matches of all the teams at the World Cup in the past two years of International fixtures (fifth of all nations). France haven’t made it out of the group stage every second World Cup since 2002. E.g. 2002, 2010, 2018??????
Who Will Win based on a bunch of Stats of varying use.
BEST KIT – Australia
BEST BADGE – Australia
BEST HEAD TO HEAD – Draw
BEST MOST RECENT RESULT – France
BEST BETS – France
BEST NICKNAME – Socceroos > Les Blues
UNDERDOGS CHOICE – Australia
MUTTSTRADAMUS THE DOG SELECTS – France
AGAINST a 2YO / 5YO CHILD (Combined Effort) – Draw
From our previous discussion on how to pick World Cup winners.
STATS WINNING SELECTION – AUSTRALIA – there’s hope yet.
REVIEW
Stay tuned for the review after the game.
You know it will be just the amount of information you need.
