An Alternative NRL Round 11 Preview – The Kick To Come

Welcome to the Kick to Come – a preview of the rugby league weekend ahead, our alternative NRL Round 11 Preview.

Want more Haiku in your life? Feel the need for poetry and rugby league to collide? Of course you do, and our Alternative NRL Round 11 Preview has a preview for each game in Haiku. Where else can you get such a treat.

We also discuss the things we’re looking forward, and like Channel Nein on a Sunday, the things we aren’t. Plus attempt our #NRLtalkthegameup for each game to balance our the cynicism.

There’s a bit of betting talk, TV times for the ultimate sloth, and more.

Doing many things, with not a lot of quality, just the way we like it. 

Want to read more? Of course you do. Our NRL Round 11 Preview awaits.

NRL ROUND 11 PREVIEW – 3 THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO

1 – Magic Weekend in the Super League – meaning almost 18 hours of rugby league from 1pm on Saturday. Refer to our TV Viewing times below.
2 – Panthers v Tigers – two good unexpected Top 4 challengers
3 – South Sydney Rabbitohs – not just as a Bunnies fan, but they are playing some nice football.

NRL ROUND 11 PREVIEW – THINGS TO AVOID THIS WEEKEND

Sleep on Saturday night.
Sharks v Bulldogs is not one for the neutrals
Channel Nein. Origin is coming.

NRL ROUND 11 PREVIEW – MATCH BY MATCH PREVIEW

Here is our short game by game preview and we feature the only NRL preview using Haiku to describe each game. (Don’t know what a Haiku is? Here’s Wikipedia) We also try and be positive and #NRLtalkthegameup.

THU 7:50pm – PANTHERS v TIGERS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Nathan Cleary In.
Mahe Fonua is out
Panthers for us then

SIDE INTERESTS

Nathan Cleary’s return from injury is good news for Penrith. Good news too was the Tigers win last weekend and a decent head to head in the halves.

#NRLtalkthegameup

Nathan Cleary’s return #TooEarlyForOrigin?

FRI 6pm – EELS v WARRIORS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Last week proved that still
Warriors are Warriors
Eels not much better

SIDE INTERESTS

Worst attacking team in the comp v a Team beaten to nil last weekend. Surely, lots of points then?

#NRLtalkthegameup

Warriors are too inconsistent to go into a full form slump..aren’t they? #NoSlump

FRI 7:50pm – BRONCOS v ROOSTERS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Two sides, varied form
Hot and Cold Buffet awaits
What Temperature?

SIDE INTERESTS

Was last week the turning point for Roosters and their big name signings? Can the Broncos be better at home at Suncorp than being away at Suncorp?

#NRLtalkthegameup

Some Intrust Super Cup players getting a go on the bench. #ISCHiddenTreasures

SAT 3:00pm – TITANS v KNIGHTS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Bad for poor old Bryce
Losing is not all his fault
Ponga to punish

SIDE INTERESTS

AJ Brimson getting another go in the halves.

#NRLtalkthegameup

Does Smith Exit from Origin give less excuses not to pick Ponga #PongaforOrigin

SAT 5:30pm – COWBOYS v RABBITOHS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Rabbitohs flying
The Cowboys slowly dying
Happy days for Souths

SIDE INTERESTS

Could the Cam Smith announcement open the door for a sneaky JT Origin return, wait for Saturday to see if he is in good enough form.

#NRLtalkthegameup

Inglis is back #Sutton

SAT 7:35pm – STORM v SEA EAGLES

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Big Origin News
Smith Available in June
Boxes ticked for Storm

SIDE INTERESTS

Couple of fringe Origin players and bolters running around in this game.

#NRLtalkthegameup

Trent Hodkinson has a new home.

SUN 2:00pm – DRAGONS v RAIDERS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

No one quite knows how
To lose games like the Raiders
Dragons to show how

SIDE INTERESTS

See how the Dragons bounce back from a rare defeat last weekend.

#NRLtalkthegameup

More Country Football from Mudgee and may there be much more next season. #WheresKenny?

SUN 4pm – SHARKS v BULLDOGS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Grinding out a win
Is Sharks speciality
Dogs grinding to watch

SIDE INTERESTS

What’s on afterwards

#NRLtalkthegameup

NIL

NRL ROUND 11 PREVIEW – TIPPING COMPETITION

Time to see how well we can tip. And what kind of ridiculous things we can use for a tipping compeditor. As ever the dog is back as our resident Paul the World Cup Tipping Octopus. Who will triumph in Rugby League’s most pointless tipping competition? Find our below.

THE GURGLER’S NRL ROUND 11 TIPS

PENRITH to beat Tigers
EELS to beat Warriors
ROOSTERS to beat Broncos
KNIGHTS to beat Titans
RABBITOHS to beat Cowboys
STORM to beat Sea Eagles
DRAGONS to beat Raiders
SHARKS to beat Bulldogs

THE DOG’S NRL ROUND 11 TIPS

Like the infamous octopus at the 2010 Football World Cup, we have our own Muttstradamus to provide tips every week. Unlike Paul, the dog is hopeless at tipping winners.

TIGERS to beat Panthers
WARRIORS to beat Eels
ROOSTERS to beat Broncos
TITANS to beat Knights
RABBITOHS to beat Cowboys
SEA EAGLES to beat Storm
DRAGONS to beat Raiders
BULLDOGS to beat Sharks

GUEST TIPSTER ROUND 11 TIPS – WHICH MASCOT IS THE DEADLIEST

TIGER (12th) to beat Panther (19th)
WARRIORS (1st) to beat Eels (NA)
BRONCO (18th) to beat Rooster (NA)
KNIGHTS (1st) to beat Titan (1st) – Count back as Game of Thrones is most deadly.
COWBOY(Cow – 17th) to beat Rabbit
STORM (NA) to beat Sea Eagles (NA) – Storms are more deadly
DRAGONS (NA) to beat Raiders (1st) – Technically should be Raiders but refer Game of Thrones – Dragons > Human
BULLDOGS (10th) to beat Sharks (20th)

Background:

For no good reason this week’s tips are based on how deadly the team’s mascot animal in real life is. The website list25.com has many lists, including a couple based on our tipping partner for the week.

Its easy, the more deaths, the more dangerous, so the more likely to get the tip as we are shitscared of them. Where there was nothing or equal, we can come up with a choice based on whatever we felt like. Of course humans are the most deadly to each other, so human based mascots will be first.

Rank of deadliest animal in brackets.

CURRENT SCOREBOARD

THE GURGLER – 38/80 – Last Week 4
MUTTSTRADAMUS 33/80 – Last Week 4
GUEST TIPSTERS TOTAL – 36/80 – Last Week 2
Guest Tipsters Breakdown:
R1 – OUR 2018 SEASON PREDICTIONS 3/8
R2 – INTERNET RANDOM RESULT GENERATOR 5/8
R3 – WORST LOSSES EVER 4/8
R4 – EASTER LONG WEEKEND HOLIDAY VENUES 3/8
R5 – FEWEST PENALTIES CONCEDED 4/8
R6 – BEST DEFENSIVE TEAM 5/8
R7 – VS INTRUST FEEDER TEAM 4/8
R8 – SMARTER THAN A PREP KID 5/8
R9 – SCRABBLE 5/8
R10 – INDIGENOUS ALL STARS – 2/8

NRL ROUND 11 PREVIEW – ODDS AND SODS

SUPER MULTI MADNESS

Here’s our Mega Multi Madness for NRL Round 11. How ridiculous can we make it? Plenty, but it probably won’t pay. But neither would one we choose from straight out betting.

PENRITH to win @ $1.55
EELS + 5.5 start & Total Points +35.5 @ $1.90
BRONCOS + 8.5 start @ $1.49
KNIGHTS to win @ $1.91
RABBITOHS -1.5 start & Total Points +38.5 @ $3.40
STORM -6 start @ $1.91
RAIDERS/DRAGONS HT/FT Double @ $7.50
TOTAL POINTS Under 39.5 @ $1.88

$1 could “pay” $767 but will probably pay NIL

THE NRL TICKET TO RIDE

Here’s where we lay down our best bet of the weekend and attempt to roll it over each week into a multi week Cash Cow. A year long moving All Up.

THIS WEEK’S BEST BET

KNIGHTS to win @ $1.91

LAST WEEK’S RESULT

LOSS – $1 on Broncos @ $1.55

CURRENT RUN / RETURN

Loss

BEST RUN / RETURN SO FAR

3 Weeks $4.86 (Weeks 6/7/8)

RUGBY LEAGUE VIEWING THIS WEEKEND

You want to sit on your favourite piece of furniture and watch every game of Rugby League don’t you? Of course you do. Well here is the list to tell you when its on so you can have that special sloth time? Here’s all the live league this weekend.