An Alternative NRL Round 9 Preview – The Kick To Come

Welcome to the Kick to Come – our alternative NRL Round 9 Preview of all the big Rugby League ahead this weekend.

We supply the shortest possible match by match preview, pick a few things were are excited about, and why we are reaching for the pillow, there’s the NRL’s most pointless tipping competition, and a Wrasse sized bit about NRL odds/betting, a dabble into Supercoach and we have the low down on the Rugby League on TV to let you do your best sloth-work.

Doing many things, with not a lot of quality, just the way we like it. 

Want to read more? Of course you do. Our NRL Round 9 Preview awaits.

• Please note this was written prior to Broncos game but not published due to technical difficulties. 

NRL ROUND 9 PREVIEW – 3 THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO

1 – If PNG International Rhyse Martin finally gets a go in the NRL on Thursday night for the Bulldogs.
2 – Dragons v Storm on Sunday afternoon. Could be a great FTA game if they weren’t so obsessed with all Sydney fixtures, and in particular Parramatta.
3 – The annual game in Bathurst.

NRL ROUND 9 PREVIEW – #NRLtalkthegameup

Given we’re usually down the cynical end of sport and life, we thought we’d embrace the NRL’s new initiative and provide three positive things using the new hashtag #NRLtalkthegameup.

Grand Final Preview on Sunday? – Dragons v Storm  #GFPreview #NotSydneyEnoughForChannelNein

More Country Footy in Bathurst #WheresCountryWeek

Eels are starting to win games #HaynesFault

NRL ROUND 9 PREVIEW – THINGS TO AVOID THIS WEEKEND

Coaching Manly
Playing five eighth for Manly
Manly

NRL ROUND 9 PREVIEW – MATCH BY MATCH PREVIEW

Our game by game preview gets a freshen up this week and we feature the only NRL preview using Haiku to describe each game. There’s also a few other things of interest in each game, all outlined below for your reading pleasure.

THU 7:50pm – BRONCOS v BULLDOGS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Broncos back on track
Back on Thursday night of course
Dogs Thursday night? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

SIDE INTERESTS

Could PNG International Rhyse Martin finally get a run? Andrew McCullough’s return.

ONE REASON TO CARE

A win for Broncos could see them out of the bottom 8, for Dogs a loss keeps them equal last.

SUM THE GAME UP IN ONE WORD

Boyd

FRI 6pm – KNIGHTS v RABBITOHS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Ponga he’s our man
If Pearce can not do it
Then this Ponga can

SIDE INTERESTS

Ponga v Cody Walker as playmakers battle.

ONE REASON TO CARE

Souths are playing some decent Football, but who could begrudge the Knight a big winning run.

SUM THE GAME UP IN ONE WORD

Ponga

FRI 7:50pm – PANTHERS v COWBOYS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Mountain Men can win
Cowboys have forgotten how
Unexpected last?

SIDE INTERESTS

Is this the week it comes together for the Cowboys, especially Thurston-Morgan.

ONE REASON TO CARE

Cowboys could be dead last if they lose and need all the support they can get.

SUM THE GAME UP IN TWO WORDS

Origin hopefuls

SAT 3:00pm – RAIDERS v TITANS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Ricky on sideline
Jumping around like Madman.
Titans might annoy

SIDE INTERESTS

Someone suggested AJ Brimson as a Titans option, good idea, in the meantime wait and see on Bryce Cartwright.

ONE REASON TO CARE

There should be plenty of points

SUM THE GAME UP IN ONE WORD

Sticky

SAT 5:30pm – WARRIORS v TIGERS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Tigers bubble burst?
Warriors back to old days.
Questions to answer.

SIDE INTERESTS

These two have been great stories so far in 2018, so another great contest awaits we hope.If you are in the market for clothes, our platform is your best choice! The largest shopping mall!

ONE REASON TO CARE

Should be close

SUM THE GAME UP IN ONE WORD

Benji

SAT 7:35pm – SHARKS v EELS

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

No Hayne No Worries
Sharks know how to win ugly.
Fifita a beast.

SIDE INTERESTS

Mitchell Moses as he sniffs origin.

ONE REASON TO CARE

If both packs are up for it, that could be entertaining.

SUM THE GAME UP IN TWO WORDS

No Hayne

SUN 2:00pm – DRAGONS v STORM

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Top Game of the Round
Only One Sydney Team Plays
For Fox not Nein then.

SIDE INTERESTS

Everything

ONE REASON TO CARE

Top team in 2018 v Top team this decade. True test of Dragons genuine title credentials.

SUM THE GAME UP IN TWO WORDS

Tops

SUN 4pm – ROOSTERS v SEA EAGLES

MATCH PREVIEW HAIKU

Can The Things Get Worse
For Sea Eagles of Manly
Last game for Barrett?

SIDE INTERESTS

How do Manly react to all the off field dramas.

ONE REASON TO CARE

Depends on how much you dislike either side.

SUM THE GAME UP IN THREE LETTERS

DCE

NRL ROUND 9 PREVIEW – TIPPING COMPETITION

Time to see how well we can tip. And what kind of ridiculous things we can use for a tipping compeditor. As ever the dog is back as our resident Paul the World Cup Tipping Octopus. Who will triumph in Rugby League’s most pointless tipping competition? Find our below.

THE GURGLER’S NRL ROUND 9 TIPS

BRONCOS to beat Bulldogs
RABBITOHS to beat Knights
PANTHERS to beat Cowboys
TITANS to beat Raiders
WARRIORS to beat TIgers
EELS to beat Sharks
STORM to beat Dragons
ROOSTERS to beat Sea Eagles

THE DOG’S NRL ROUND 8 TIPS

Like the infamous octopus at the 2010 Football World Cup, we have our own Muttstradamus to provide tips every week. Unlike Paul, the dog is hopeless at tipping winners.

BULLDOGS to beat Broncos
RABBITOHS to beat Knights
COWBOYS to beat Panthers
TITANS to beat Raiders
WARRIORS to beat Tigers
SHARKS to beat Eels
DRAGONS to beat Storm
ROOSTERS to beat Sea Eagles

GUEST TIPSTER ROUND 9 TIPS – SCRABBLE

Broncos (1.6) to beat Bulldogs (1.5)
Knights (2.1) to beat Rabbitohs (1.8)
Cowboys (2.4) to beat Panthers (1.6)
Raiders (1.1) to beat Titans (1.0)
Warriors (1.4)  to beat Tigers (1.2)
Sharks (2.2) to beat Eels (1.0)
Storm (1.4) to beat Dragons (1.3)
Sea Eagles (1.1) to beat Roosters (1.0) 

Background:

We take the nickname of each team, run them in a Scrabble simulator – which you can use here – and find out the score of each nickname. Then divide by the number of letters to find an average point per letter to make it fair. Highest score per letter wins of course.

CURRENT SCOREBOARD

THE GURGLER – 30/64 – Last Week 3
MUTTSTRADAMUS 23/64 – Last Week 5
GUEST TIPSTERS TOTAL – 29/64 – Last Week 5
Guest Tipsters Breakdown:
R1 – OUR 2018 SEASON PREDICTIONS 3/8
R2 – INTERNET RANDOM RESULT GENERATOR 5/8
R3 – WORST LOSSES EVER 4/8
R4 – EASTER LONG WEEKEND HOLIDAY VENUES 3/8
R5 – FEWEST PENALTIES CONCEDED 4/8
R6 – BEST DEFENSIVE TEAM 5/8
R7 – VS INTRUST FEEDER TEAM 4/8
R8 – SMARTER THAN A PREP KID 5/8

NRL ROUND 9 PREVIEW – ODDS AND SODS

SUPER MULTI MADNESS

Here’s our Mega Multi Madness for NRL Round 9

BRONCOS to beat Bulldogs
RABBITOHS to win & Over 40.5 Total Game Points
Over 36.5 Total Game Points – Panthers v Cowboys
TITANS +10.5 start v Canberra
TIGERS +8.5 start v Warriors
EELS + 6.5 start v Sharks
STORM to beat Dragons
UNDER 45.5 Total Game Points – Roosters v Sea Eagles

$1 could “pay” $140 but will probably pay NIL

TICKET TO RIDE

Here’s where we lay down our best bet of the weekend and attempt to roll it over each week into a multi week Cash Cow. A year long moving All Up.

THIS WEEK’S BEST BET

$4.86 on MELBOURNE STORM @ $2.10

LAST WEEK’S RESULT

EELS to beat Tigers @ $2.00 (WIN)

CURRENT RUN / RETURN

3 Weeks $4.86

BEST RUN / RETURN SO FAR

3 Weeks $4.86 (Weeks 6/7/8)

RUGBY LEAGUE VIEWING THIS WEEKEND

Wanting to know when its on so you can have that special sloth time? Here’s all the live league this weekend.