Time again for The Gurgler’s monthly Jerk of the Month nominations, and not only has this one come around quickly, it is bulging at the seams of Jerkdom. It’s as if people put in a little extra effort for the last Jerk nomination period. Especially well known Tennis Jerk Bernard Tomic.
Normally we would wait until a little later in the month to announce the lucky few to be nominated, but with the big Bernard Tomic Sunday Night interview coming up on Sunday night funnily enough, we wanted to ensure our readers and casual observers know he was well in our sights as a Jerk of the Month. Although regular reader s of The Gurgler will know that we have been well aware of how big a Jerk Bernard Tomic is. Why not join in our Tennis Jerk Bingo which was developed some time ago.
But more on Bernie soon, as we unveil July’s Jerk of the Month nominations.
JULY 2017 Jerk of the Month Nominations
BERNARD TOMIC
As previously mentioned we have been aware of Bernard Tomic’s Jerk status for some time now, but he really put in over the last month at Wimbledon, attempting to make up a lot of monthly and annual nominations but no win.
And no win is at the heart of this month’s nominations, as Tomic outdid himself in the lamest possible exit from the biggest Tennis tournament of the year.
The details of which became well known across Australia, and could anyone say they were really surprised. Pretending to be injured, saying he was bored, then got upset when pressed on the fact he should give his prize money back. Even lost endorsements and scorn of most of Australian sporting fans doesn’t seem to bother. He is a Jerk of the highest order.
You know it is bad, when a notorious Tennis Dad washes his hands of the Jerk like behaviour. And he has made Nick Kygrios look good. What level of Jerk does it take to get to that stage. A Jerk of the highest order.
Thankfully he has said that he doesn’t care what Australia thinks, so don’t feel bad by throwing your support behind for Jerk of the Month.
SEBASTIAN VETTEL
Mainly nominated for his Jerk like behaviour at the Azerbaijan Grand Prix where he swerved into Lewis Hamilton’s Mercedes after he thought he had been the victim of a brake test. No further punishment other than a stop go penalty in that race from the FIA means he sort of got away with it, as he finished ahead of Hamilton in the end.
A late puncture in the British Grand Prix was sort of Karma really, especially after you add his Jerkdom from the Austrian GP in relation to Bottas’ jump start, and his moaning when he couldn’t overtake Verstappen at Silverstone.
His Championship lead is down to one point, but you can give him one vote for Jerk of the Month.
MITCHELL PEARCE
Nominated by some of our NSW readers, who demanded his inclusion. Especially someone who has already written a full length piece on the derided NSW Blues halfback. Why not catch up here.
It may be a little unfair to kick a dog whilst he’s down, but it is also very unfair to do something else to a dog when you’re on the (Ian) Turps (Turpie).
For so many reasons, but mainly being the bad luck charm for NSW, our southern aligned readers have Mitchell Pearce nominated for Jerk of the Month for July.
CHANNEL NEIN ORIGIN COVERAGE
It took only minutes for Rabs to point out that Will Chambers was born in the Northern Territory, and since their usual gripe Greg Inglis wasn’t playing they needed something else to point out and moan about.
Thankfully there is just the Grand Final left to endure with the god ugly smugness and rubbish that is Channel Nein. The team who might regret calling a NSW series win during the second half of Origin Two.
If only they could rig the State of Origin result like they do the Sunday afternoon FTA coverage. Given their love for all Sydney, maybe they would prefer the interstate battle to be on a Sunday afternoon between two NSW sides. It would save them time, Rabs travel, money, bottom lip dropping, and Queenslanders from having to endure them.
THE NRL
Still on rugby league, and the NRL get another vote for their revealing of the draw for the last 6 rounds. How on earth a team like the Wests Tigers get five FTA games in the last six weeks, despite being second last and awful in 2017, is beyond us. The most boring team in the NRL, the Canterbury Bore-dogs got four games. And they have looked as likely to play finals as they have been of scoring 40 points.
Why the NRL wait half a season to unveil the same shit is almost offensive to rugby league fan’s, and why they are Jerks and nominated for July again.
TEDDY ATLAS
Teddy Atlas is a Jerk, plain and simple. If you don’t know him, he’s the American Boxing commentator who showed the usual amount of American pig ignorance when it came to Jeff Horn and his big bout with Manny Pacquiao.
The American refused to accept the decision for one of Australia’s biggest wins in the ring, and even weeks later is still moaning about, despite a re-score still giving to the Brisbane based Primary School Teacher.
Whilst he could be admired slightly for telling Jeff Horn to his face he didn’t think he won the bout, the readers of The Gurgler would like to tell him to his face that he is nominated for Jerk of the month.
DONALD TRUMP JNR
Speaking of Americans who are ignorant, Donald Trump Jnr has been nominated, and is chasing the first father-son monthly Jerk victory.
THE PROJECT
Although it is a show we rarely watch, we are sick of the constant High Horse being trotted out on the Channel Ten program that fills too many news websites. There’s barely a subject that escapes the saddle work. Almost as bad as Q & A or Sky News.
MALE AUSTRALIAN CRICKETERS
The pay dispute goes on, and do the players really think we’d care if it wasn’t an Ashes Summer.
The Australian A Tour has been canned due to the strike action, funny that the Australian women played on in the Women’s World Cup in England where they made the semi finals.
If reports that $250K+ for Shield Cricketers isn’t enough, especially in a period where the cricket broadcast rights outside of Ashes and Big Bash won’t balloon like the EPL or NRL, then they are fully deserving of a Jerk of the Month nomination.
While we’re here, please sign the petition to Stop Channel Nein getting the Big Bash rights.
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