Tickets went on sale today for the biggest boxing event to be held in Brisbane and as the hottest tickets in town are being snapped up and hands rubbed in anticipation, we turn our thoughts to the possible Pacquiao v Horn Undercards.
We previously examined the potential undercards for the previous biggest fight in Australia with Mundine v Green 2 undercards. It was well received, and many passed through the website for a read.
However some said that some of our suggestions were absurd, and then the real ones came out and one of them was Quade Cooper against some hapless bloke picked up off the street as not to ruin Cooper’s fledgling fighting career. Maybe our Mundune v Green undercards weren’t so stupid after all.
But Pacquiao v Horn undercards are even more important, as it will be the biggest bout in this country for some time. So we’ve put even more thought into it this time and have some great suggestions for Pacquiao v Horn Undercards for the promoters to think about to make the big show at Suncorp Stadium the greatest sporting even in Australian history.
The Pacquiao v Horn undercards have a tribute to the great Cauldron, with fights involving Queenslanders and Rugby league. What better way to showcase the state and country to the millions watching worldwide.
Well, these will do until they announce the real ones.
PAUL GALLEN v SONNY BILL WILLIAMS
The first of the must have Pacquiao v Horn undercards is the grudge match between All Black Sonny Bill Williams and all Blue Paul Gallen. After calling each other out and agreeing to fight each other after their respective football seasons are done, why not consider bringing that date forward.
Both boxing wannabes could barely ask for a bigger stage to show their potential as a post footballing career, so why not bring it forward. And on a stage where both are accustomed. Paul Gallen on the losing end of plenty of Origins, and SBW playing for his various NRL and Rugby clubs. Not for NZ as Brisbane isn’t good enough for a Bledisloe.
THE VERDICT:
Queensland will rejoice in seeing Paul Gallen being beaten again at Suncorp Stadium after SBW knocks him out in the final round.
QUADE COOPER v SOMEONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY BOX
Quade Cooper should be very comfortable in the surrounds of Suncorp Stadium being a Reds players, and he was reasonably comfortable against his last opponent Jack McInnes who was woefully underqualified for a bout except for the fact that Cooper could easily beat him. Although who could blame McInnes for taking the cash.
But who wouldn’t like to see Cooper get some stronger competition this time. If he wants to box, give hime someone tough. Why not have a reality show like The Contender to determine the opponent. Surely a sniff of landing several punches on the Reds player will have people applying for the show in their droves.
THE VERDICT:
The reality show will produce an opponent who punches bricks for fun after working a 9 day week mining coal and they will take out their temper on the footballer. Or someone even less suited to boxing than his previus opponent.
ANY WESTS TIGERS FAN v ISAAC MOSES
Whilst still on the rugby league front, why not let the Wests Tigers fans vent their fury at the player manager who took three of their “Big Four” from the club. Not content with voting for the Big Four players for Jerk of the Month for April, the Wests Tigers faithful can also sink the boot into the agent taking a large chunk of cash from the moves. Financial members of the club only.
THE VERDICT:
Isaac Moses to be too slick for the Tigers fans.
NICK KYRGIOS v BERNARD TOMIC
How about for a real special for the Pacquiao v Horn undercards we settle once and for al who is the biggest Tennis Jerk.
Both Kyrgios and Tomic consistently feature in out monthly and annual Jerk polls but it is time to see who the biggest jerk of all is. And who wouldn’t to see this bout end in a flurry of punches to either person.
THE VERDICT:
If pouting led to great pugilism this would be the clash of the night. Whilst Kyrgios is a Jerk, and Tomic slightly less so, Tomic the Tank has a heart the size of a caraway seed and no doubt the 12 degree evening temperature on that evening will be way too hot and/or cold for him to compete.
CLIVE PALMER v CAMPBELL NEWMAN
Any great boxing line up needs a heavyweight clash, and so for the Pacquiao v Horn undercards we suggest a heavyweight political stoush between two former embarrassments of Queensland politics.
If their public careers are any guide, the pre match banter will be plentiful, and despite plenty of promise of a good bout it will probably only last one term, I mean round.
THE VERDICT:
The people of Townsville would probably like to fly down to see Clive Palmer beaten and have a swing themselves, and the rest of Queensland won’t cry to see Newman receiving the odd punch. We say the shrinking Clive will beat the former mayor/premier with the shrinking presence.
TONY ABBOTT v MALCOLM TURNBULL
Whilst on politics, why not have a battle of the two most recent Prime Ministers.
As long as Abbott continues to be a jerk, powered by his friends in the newspapers, with the Liberal Party and on Sky News, there will be tension for the leadership of the party and in turn the nation.
But aren’t Australians tired of changing Prime ministers without a say, after nearly a decade of chop and change.
So since voting Australians can’t get a choice in PM, why not at least let us enjoy the battle, rather than waiting the result from a myriad of breaking news specials.
We say Turnbull throws open the leadership in the ring, and both he and Abbott slap in the mouthguards and go at it for 10 full rounds. The winner gets the leadership of the party and country.
THE VERDICT:
Abbott looks the fitter and meaner of the two, but when he drops the strides to unveil his Boxing Budgies he is immediately inundated with XXXX cans in a tribute to the old lang Park and State of Origin of the 1980’s.
Winner Turnbull by default. A result he’ll take next time too.
