When it was unveiled of the idea of a Pool at the Gabba, we thought, wow what a great idea.
Surprising a little bit given it was a fun fan based promotion that didn’t arrive with Twenty 20 cricket.
On the back of the move to a Day / Night test in Brisbane, the pool at the Gabba shows some foresight in stealing the idea off American sport.
But the Gabba needs it. With the outstanding upgrade of the Adelaide Oval, and the huge new 60K capacity stadium being constructed in Perth, Brisbane faces being the fifth choice venue of Australian cricket soon. If we can beat Manuka Oval and Bellerive that is.
For years the Gabba has been a concrete lifeless soul, either half empty with no atmosphere, or packed in boiling sardines for the Ashes with no respite from the heat. No respite includes the XXXX Gold aka Milton Mango on offer.
A pool at the Gabba is a great start. But we say why stop there.
Here’s another six ideas for their consideration to make a Gabba Test a must attend sporting for all Australian sporting fans.
THE SPIDER SEAT
Like the infamous and overused and overrated Spider Cam, one lucky fan every 5 overs will be strapped in like the Spider Cam to get a bird’s eye or spider’s view of the action.
The fan will have full power to move themselves around, however they have to position themselves in between overs and will be unable to move until the over ends.
Tickets are $60 for the 5 over spell, and could be a great money spinner for the paupers that are Cricket Australia. 90 overs per day x 5 days = $5400. Almost enough to cover entry, 2 drinks and dinner at the cricket these days.
THE CHRISTMAS TRAIN
One for the kiddies just in time for Christmas.
Given the rope is usually in about 10 metres from the physical boundary, we say the Pool at the Gabba could be matched with a six carriage long Christmas train that does a lap of the Gabba between the fence and the rope.
One for kids and train nerds alike. Or someone looking for a different perspective of the cricket.
Only problem is getting enough train drivers in Brisbane to run them in shifts.
THE EJECTOR SEAT
Nothing keeps Cricket fans on the edge of their seat like the ejector seat.
At a random time on each day of the test, one seat at the Gabba will eject and blast into the sky with the spectator attached.
Health & Safety issues still need to be worked out, but the idea is sound. Just like the sound barrier that will be broken by the flying seat.
Unfortunately this promotion does not apply to the Channel Nein commentary box.
Although…..
Perhaps it could with SMS voting each day who to eject from the comm box.
THE JUMPING CASTLE SECTION
All seats will be removed, and their places will be a section made up completely of Jumping Castle.
This section will be unlicensed due to the potential of projectile vomiting.
THE OKTOBERFEST SECTION
Although the first test in Brisbane usually lands in November, why not let October drag into November for five (or less depending on the cricket) days with a section dedicated and styled for Oktoberfest.
One wedge of the Gabba will have all long tables installed, reminiscent of the Munich based Drink Fest.
Lederhosen will be mandatory, and all beer will be served by the quintessential German bar maids in the dirndls.
A special Oktoberfest menu will only be available in this section.
And of course, there will be regular performances by Oompah bands and Brisbane German Club favourite and Icon Andrew.
THE SECTION OF THE GROUND WHICH ENCOURAGES BEACH BALLS AND THE LOUSY JERK SECURITY GIVE THEM BACK
Most people enjoy or at least tolerate the beach balls at a cricket ground, but the powers that be treat them like a threat from Isis.
Of course the main problem is the deadshit idiots that purposely hit them over the fence to the waiting security guard who gets his moment of power to slash the fun with their pen knife. These fools still do it knowing it will kill the fun for everyone else, and should be kicked in the arse by any person who had previously touched the beach ball.
But what if the Gabba became the first Test ground that had a dedicated Beach Ball section. Anyone buying tickets into this area are signing off that they will be bombarded by beach balls from the very first ball. And it will be accordingly staff by Security who are instructed to give every beach ball back.
We envisage it becoming so popular that it will become a premium priced seat, and could turn into a real money spinner for Cricket Australia. So they can waste more money on Pat Howard’s wage. Jerk.
So that’s our Six Pack of Suggestions for more exciting ways to match the Pool at the Gabba. It may leave the Gabba with very few regular seats left, but outside of the Ashes will that really make a difference.
