Midweek EPL not enough for you? Good. Here then is our EPL Matchday 17 Predictions just in time for a weekend where too much sport is barely enough.
It’s tough going, but we put our tips namely the EPL Matchday 17 Predictions up for a third time in a week, almost reaching sports betting saturation.
In our never ending quest to see whether arse beats class (or poor tipping) this week we are putting our tips against the results of which nickname is the toughest.
How does that work?
Well, for each match we compare the the nicknames of each team, and the one who sounds toughest gets the tip. E.g. for Crystal Palace v Chelsea it is an Eagle against Blue. As an animal with a beak and sharp claws sounds far tougher than a colour, the tip is Crystal Palace to win.
We’ve done the same for all games for our EPL Matchday 17 Predictions smackdown, and the results are mildly interesting. Mildly.
And we’re trying to tip against that to prove we’re better than tips based on nicknames. Pffft to us.
THE GURGLER EPL Matchday 17 Predictions
DRAW – Crystal Palace v Chelsea
DRAW – Middlesbrough v Swansea
STOKE to beat Leicester
SUNDERLAND to beat Hull
WEST HAM to beat Hull
MANCHESTER UNITED to beat West Brom
BOURNEMOUTH to beat Southampton
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Arsenal
SPURS to beat Burnley
LIVERPOOL to beat Everton
EPL Matchday 17 Predictions based on Nicknames
CRYSTAL PALACE (Eagle) to beat Chelsea (Blues)
As above, an animal with a beak and sharp claws sounds far tougher than a colour.
SWANSEA (Swans) to beat Middlesbrough (Boro)
A Swan isn’t very scary, but scarier than a Boro. Unless that borough is Croydon.
LEICESTER (Foxes) to beat Stoke (Potters)
Although a Pot dropped on your head would hurt, a Fox is generally tougher.
SUNDERLAND (Black Cats) to beat Watford (Hornet)
Slightly debatable depending on the Cat and the sting of the Hornet.
HULL (Tigers) to beat West Ham (Hammers)
Another tough one. A hammer could hurt, especially if you are a useless wannabe handyman who keeps smashing digits with the tool. And a well used hammer who stop a Tiger. For a while.
MANCHESTER UNITED (Red Devils) to beat West Brom (Baggies)
A Red Devil v a pair of shorts? Easy one.
SOUTHAMPTON (Saints) to beat Bournemouth (Cherries)
Neither are hardly scary on the surface, although Southampton got the nod for the Catholic Church extra curricular activities.
ARSENAL (Gunners) to beat Manchester City (Citizens)
Guns kills people. Next.
SPURS (Spurs) to beat Burnley(Clarets)
A fighting cock(erel) beat a colour or a bottle of wine. Although one can usually lead to the other.
DRAW – Everton (Toffees) v Liverpool (Reds)
Red can be a dangerous colour, especially around bulls. A toffee is not tough at all.
RESULTS
Currently we are better than our opponents, only just. We are getting less than 50% correct, and getting worse. Some very ordinary tipping really. Except for midweek.
THE GURGLER RESULTS
Total – 47 / 110 (only started Match Day 6)
Average – 4.3 / 10
Best: 7/10 (1) – Worst 2/10 (1) – Last Week 7/10
OPPONENT’S RESULTS
Total – 45 / 110
Average – 4.1 / 10
3 Year Old – 6/10
7 Month Old – 3/10
Pack of Cards – 3/10
The Dog – 2/10
Cars that drove past – 5/10
Frankington Stanley 2/10
Scrabble – 5/10
Alphabetical Order – 4/10
Colour of Kits – 5/10
