The biggest betting race of the year is here and The Gurgler has your Melbourne Cup 2016 Tips – plus a few tips on how to survive the big day at your workplace with style and attitude.
Given we supply tips on third, fourth, and even fifth division English Football, how could we let the opportunity to share our thoughts on the biggest betting event is Australia.
Despite being the worst value betting event in the world, at least 20 million Australia who have a bet or have bets put on their behalf on the first Tuesday of November. Worse value being that tightarse TABs only pay 3 places in a 2 mile event with 24 horses. Greedy ducks.
Take cover to for the Tsk Tsk brigade if a horse gets injured too. The howls of protests from many on Social media after the Melbourne Cup two years ago when animals sadly suffered life ending injuries are no doubt forgotten as they place their $2 each way on three horses then take another three entirely different horses for the trifectas.
I wonder how many that said the Melbourne Cup should be banned are placing wages on this year’s event? Or sampling a Melbourne Cup day lunch, entering a sweep, or taking their shoes off after getting too smashed at the racetrack.
Enough of that serve of Gripe Water.
Onto our Melbourne Cup 2016 Tips.
We’ve largely missed the Spring Carnival this year, and when we say largely we mean almost completely. We caught the replay of the Cox Plate. And we know the winner of the Caulfield Cup. And someone in our Punters Club bet on the Geelong Cup. That’s loads of study, isn’t it?
Armed with that dangerous amount of knowledge, combined with perusing the Sportsbet website on the train ride home which was on time and staffed (an achievement in itself in Brisbane), we present our Melbourne Cup 2016 Tips.
But instead of taking it easy and providing a few popular horses, we intend to pick all 24 horses in order. We call it a Piefecta. (After a Four and Twenty Pie)
The Gurgler’s Melbourne Cup 2016 Super Piefecta Tips
6 – Hartnell
1 – Big Orange
17 – Almandin
20 – Oceanographer
9 – Almoonqith
7 – Who Shot Thebarman
8 – Wicklow Brave
15 – Excess Knowledge
12 – Jameka
4 – Bondi Beach
2 – Our Ivanhowe
10 – Gallante
23 – Qewy
5 – Exospheric
21 – Secret Number
11 – Grand Marshall
3 – Curren Mirotic
13 – Heartbreak City
19 – Grey Lion
18 – Assign
16 – Beautiful Romance
14 – Sir John Hawkwood
22 – Pentathlon
24 – Rose Of Virginia
OTHER MELBOURNE CUP DAY TIPS
- Why not bet on all the races. With the vision available on the Internet via Channel Seven or on TAB Radio it is a surefire boredom buster.
- If you wait long enough after the Melbourne Cup lunches, you can fill a plate without paying for it.
- If getting into sweeps, buy early and buy often. But also make enquiries late if the favourites have been taken.
- Avoid organising Sweeps. Maximum work for maximum whinge.
- One can avoid work from about Midday if holding a form guide and chatting Melbourne Cup with a colleague. Although ensure you move to different areas of the business.
- Pretend you have won a substantial amount of money to impress your colleagues that you are the Melbourne Cup king of tipping. It also provides an easy out for an early exit to collect the winnings.
