Kyrgios Tomic Tennis Jerks Inc has always been about providing you with the finest off court products, and they’ve done it again with a stunning new range.
After inviting a member of the Flushing Meadows crowd to “suck his balls” and to “give them money to enjoy it” we thought it was unfair not to offer that privilege to the world.
Just in time for Father’s Day, or for that anniversary present you forgot, or even a bereavement gift, just to let them know you care. Nothing says I’m thinking about you in hard times than a Kyrgios Tomic Tennis Jerk Inc gift.
Please accept the new line of must have purchases. The perfect gift for the person who has everything, and wants you to know about it.
For peasants everywhere.
Tomic Balls Canister.
First he asked you to suck them, and give you money to make you feel good about it. Now you can feel good every day with the Tomic Balls Canister. Thoughtfully packaged in a commemorative Tomic 2016 Olympic Tennis Can, the prospective Tennis enthusiast will be the envy of Tennis clubs and street tennis games everywhere with the Tomic Balls.
Priced so that even the peasants can enjoy a little Tomic and don’t have to go to Flushing Meadows for it. You can have flushing meadows every single day.
Please note: there are no images of this product due to censorship.
Tomic Balls
Tomic’s balls also now comes in automotive decoration! Forget tired old Fluffy Dice. Your car can have the dangle it deserves. Looks best with cars over $100K.
For the peasants out there you don’t even need a car. They also look good on the back of your cart, or dangling from the neck of the donkey pulling it.
Please note: there are no images of this product due to censorship.
Tennis Jerk Cologne
Ever wanted to be like Kyrgios Tomic? Now you can smell like one or both with Kyrgios Tomic Tennis Jerk’s new scent for men – Tennis Jerk.
Impress the locals at your tennis club by smelling like Australia’s finest. And talk about a surefire no fail hit with the ladies. You’ll be doing a Kokkinakis in no time.
The Tennis Jerk Bingo Game
Previously released by the Gurgler, but an old favourite.
Play along with the Tennis Jerks Kyrgios and Tomic, and cross off their indiscretions as they happen.
The Kyrgios Tomic Swear Jar.
For those who can’t help themselves, how about turning that foul mouth into gold for charity.
The Kyrgios Tomic swear jar has the capacity to match your wicked ways.
Personally designed and autographed, each jar is a limited edition with both Nick’s and Bernard’s favourite swear words printed on the inside.
The Kyrgios Tomic Travel Swear Jar
For those busy people on the go between high powered business meetings, tennis tournaments, and swinger parties, why not bring your Kyrgios Tomic Travel Swear Jar. Contribute on the go.
