The AFL Grand Final is a magnificent sporting event, well so we’ve been told, as The Gurgler has been too lazy to get down to Melbourne to sample one, but it does look impressive. Talking about lazy, we’ve also been reasonably hopeless with the entire 2015 season, barely noticing more than a few Perth teams and last year’s finalists were in the top 4 from time to time. That’s no comment on the quality of AFL, there’s just so many competing sports like fourth division English Football, Queensland Cup rugby League, F1, GP2, web.com golf tour, E Sports, Lawnton Greyhounds, Jarryd Hayne in the NFL, but not rugby union, that it’s hard to keep up.
The beauty of the AFL Grand Final as a sporting event is that someone like us who paid minimal attention to the season so far get the same reward on the day as a fan of the 16 teams who didn’t make the final. We won’t take the piss though and pretend to know anything, just like the once-a-year-experts around Sydney to Hobart race time, or temporary Perth experts telling you about the Fremantle Doctor. We’ll just supply a list of things for the neutral to do and cheer for.
1 – BETTING
It has been proven in a study by the Betfred Institute that gambling (responsibly) adds to the sporting patrons game day experience. Professor Garry Betsalot-Winwinwin proved in a 2014 that a person is 14.3% more likely to enjoy a game of sport if they have a wager on it. We at The Gurgler agree, hell would we enjoy the fourth division of English Football otherwise, probably, we are huge sports nerd here. The AFL has many varied betting options, and like the actual game are superior to the NRL. We list a few of our favourites and must includes for your Saturday. With well over two hundred different betting types to chose from, don’t whinge you have nothing to wager on.
Norm Smith Medal – one of the great value bets as it gets you excited about every handball, every kick, and every mark of your chosem person. These can usually go down to the wire, and unlike the NRL tend to go to the lesser hyped players a lot of the time, as rugby league tend to be blinkered to fullbacks and halves.
Last Goal Scorer – unlike the first goal scorer bet, which can be over in seconds, the last goal scorer bet keeps going and going. If it is a tight game it could 15 minutes from home, or a lop sided game could see one with seconds to spare. Or for St Kilda fans they should be just before the siren to beat Collingwood. Anyways, it is a quality bet type and being the last scorer there’s more chance of someone different at odds.
Triple Margin – for the ultimate fence sitter, pick a margin either side could lose by and bet by bravery accordingly.
2 – DRINKING
Goes hand in hand with the above and the Grand Final itself, and the earlier kick off makes it less shameful to start your drinking session before midday. The night time NRL Grand Final makes that very anti social.
But if you want a challenge to go with your Grand Final day – why not take on our AFL Grand Final Drinking Game. We can vouch from experience that there’s no winners, and everyone wins on the day, and the only result that matters is the hurt by full time.
3 – SO WHO WINS?
F***s us to be honest, but what would we know. West Coast Eagles may not want to lose, because given the footage of what a Freo fan does to a female in the crowd, they may be in for some violence themselves if they don’t bring home the flag. (Picturing footage of the Simpsons throwing rocks at their losing team at the Airport). Hawthorn have been the best team of the recent seasons, but were humbled by the West Coast in Perth earlier in the finals series. But this game is Melbourne so that be advantage Hawks.
Either way, trying to prove arse beats class – here’s our tips for all of the best markets.
WIN
HAWTHORN by 23 @ $34
NORM SMITH
JACK GUNSTON @ $31
LAST GOAL SCORER
CYRIL RIOLI @ $11
AMOUNT OF BEHINDS IN 4th QUARTER
9 – 10 @ $7.80
TIME OF FIRST GOAL SCORED
0 – 1 min @ $4.80
TOTAL POINTS 3rd QUARTER
0 – 20 @ $20
4 – ENTERTAINMENT
One point of interest is the AFL going for Bryan Adams for the keynote (not Keynotes but Richard Wilkins on stage being pelted by 100,000 eggs would be quite funny) entertainer. Sure he’s a big name, with his first real six string, but hardly anything current or AFL friendly or good. What would be funny, Richard Wilkins egg-pelt side, would be the AFL getting the Bryan Adams name wrong a la The Late Show in the 90’s and hiring alternative musician Ryan Adams instead.
All we know at The Gurgler is that it is a shame that Roy and HG’s wonderful commentary will not be available. Shame, as good as Channel 7’s commentary is, Roy and HG was the voice of choice for the neutral and not too bothered. We’ll never know who the Barry Hall medal winner is this year.
