Summer is on the way or already here, and with it brings the usual Brisbane storm season. No doubt by now you’ve either seen a TV report, read a newspaper article or been told by someone that this is going to be the most extreme, dangerous, most cyclone filled storm season ever.
Good, you’re right where the news teams want you, extra worried. It’s good for ratings.
We at The Gurgler are concerned about you though, want to make sure you are fully prepared to ensure this Brisbane Storm season is the most overhyped, sensationalised in recent memory.
1 – Brisbane Storm Supplies
Make sure that heading into Brisbane storm season you have little or no supplies for a potential storm, so when a weather event is coming you go to your nearest supermarket and shop up a storm (pardon the pun). This is so the news have sufficient people for footage of panic buying. It may only be a few seconds grab, but it is needed.
Whilst getting those supplies, get as many things as you can, if possible get way more than you need, so this can also be shown on TV. It also provides a chance for stock footage of empty shelves for later broadcasts.
Just remember, what will you do if you can’t go to the shops for a day or so, you will definitely need a week’s worth of stuff. This also ensures not everyone can get something.
2 – Describing your Brisbane storm.
If you have suffered wind damage or high winds, please note that the only approved descriptions are as follows:
- Mini Tornado
- Mini Cyclone
- Mini Hurricane
If your whole street has been affected, Tornado Alley is also OK.
If you were unlucky to receive hail, please be aware that the size of the hail can only be categorized as follows:
Pea Size < Marble Size < Golf Ball Size < Cricket Ball Size < Peach Size
If in doubt, please keep one each of the above to use as a reference this summer. If it falls within two different sizes, please round up for maximum effect.
If interviewed about the storm, please ensure that the storm is the worst in a minimum of 10 years, or worst since you’ve lived in the area. The more years the better, any less won’t be able to be used for broadcasting.
3 – Multimedia
Please take photos of the approaching storm and grainy video coverage of the event. Both of these should be given to The Courier Mail only. This will provide an opportunity for you to be charged later to see your photos on the internet.
Twitter and Facebook can also be used to update on the storm, so your updates can replace any extra work that news outlets will need to do.
Children can also be used for effect. Videos of children playing in hail like snow is a high rater. If possible please keep children dressed in plastic yellow raincoats and hats. For teenage children any shots playing in dangerously fast water will provide any opportunity for tsk tsking, and are also welcome.
If you keep all these in mind and follow them or include them in you emergency plan, we can ensure that this Brisbane storm season will be the overhyped ever.
